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The Edit Alaverdyan Podcast
Welcome to "The Edit Alaverdyan Podcast," the podcast where insightful conversations unfold, and the depth of the human mind is explored. In each episode, I sit down with a diverse range of individuals—thinkers, innovators, and captivating personalities—who share their unique insights and experiences. Together, we embark on a journey of discovery, unraveling the complexities of the human psyche and uncovering the untold truths that influence our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
The Edit Alaverdyan Podcast
Zhenya Baghinyan | Wellness Routines, Self-Compassion, Motherhood | The Edit Alaverdyan Podcast #36
Discover the transformative power of wellness routines and self-compassion with our special guest, Zhenya Baghinyan, who shares her unique insights just weeks before becoming a mother of three. Zhenya, the mind behind Wellness Routine, guides us through the importance of mindfulness in daily life, redefining meditation, and the art of being present. Her soothing presence and wisdom extend to the roles of motherhood and fatherhood, the psychological benefits of cleaning as anxiety relief, and the strength of self-care in nurturing relationships and fostering a fulfilling life.
Journey alongside the inspiring Zhenya, a certified holistic health and wellness coach whose personal story of overcoming chronic health challenges during the COVID-19 pandemic highlights the power of self-advocacy and therapy. Despite a background in business management, her passion for wellness led her to embrace holistic nutrition and self-healing. Our conversation with Zhenya reveals the vital connection between mental and physical health, and how life’s hurdles can ignite meaningful change and a lifelong commitment to wellness.
Explore the enriching themes of prioritizing self-care over perfectionism and the beauty of motherhood with us. We emphasize the significance of self-compassion, flexible routines, and the value of slowing down to transform your mindset. Delve into the world of meditation, manifestation, and mindful eating as we illustrate how these practices can manage anxiety, enhance mental wellness, and uncover the pathway to a more fulfilling life. Our episode promises to uplift and inspire, reminding you to nurture your inner self through gratitude, self-discipline, and a supportive social media environment.
If you're going to ask any person, they're going to say that 24 hours is not enough for me. But it's not true. When you are really mindful of whatever you are doing, you see that you have the whole 24 hours a day.
Speaker 2:There's so many different levels of meditation. People think that you have to sit there in a chair and just close your eyes and breathe. You can meditate while you're cleaning. You can meditate while you're standing. You can meditate while you're speaking to someone.
Speaker 1:Meditation's all around you If your husband, for example, sees that you are happy just by yourself, he's going to do everything to make you happy as well. But if they're going to see that you don't love yourself, you don't put yourself first, they're going to take advantage of that.
Speaker 2:You will learn to motivate yourself by just constantly seeing the result. It just doesn't grow on a tree like that. When they say, get motivated, get motivated, it's not easy like that. There's a big mental game to that.
Speaker 1:Imagine if your friend is coming to you and is saying to you that you know this thing's happening in my life, and what are you going to answer? Are you going to tell them that it's okay, this will pass? You're a human. You should have the same self-compassion to yourself as you have to your friends.
Speaker 2:Hello everyone, thank you for joining me today. Today's episode I had on an amazing guest, three weeks before her due date, a very pregnant and amazing Zhenya Baginian. She is the owner and creator of Wellness Routine. We had on her because we wanted to talk about what routine is about and how to maintain it, how to create it, and this goes for men and women. The conversation was so genuine, it was so smooth and beautiful about how to maintain routine, your why, which she explains in the podcast motherhood, fatherhood nutrition, and we dived into a little bit of self care and how people in general can put themselves first. She has her own courses and I really wanted her to explain to you her teachings, her findings and her wisdom.
Speaker 2:This episode was so rich, full of nurture and information about your wellness and what that looks like. We did dive into talking about a little bit of psychology and also how sometimes, as men and women, it can be hard to leave the cleaning that we do. That eases our anxiety and how difficult it can be to leave that era and to nurture the true cleaning, which is the cleaning of ourselves, the internal work. So we dived really deep into that and what that looks like, meditation as well. Overall, just a very rich and genuine conversation with her. Her presence are so calm and you guys are really going to love her and her presence and what she brings to the table. You guys are really going to love her and her presence and what she brings to the table. This is a podcast where you guys will be definitely hooked on the TV because her presence is so amazing. She's also she came to the show pregnant, which I'm so grateful for, and I think that's such a motivating and inspiring part of her life, where she is almost a mom of three, and we talked about motherhood as well, and you know what the science is behind successful kids too, which was a really of three, and we talked about motherhood as well. And you know what the science is behind successful kids too, which was a really important piece.
Speaker 2:So thank you for joining me. Make sure you subscribe and enjoy this conversation with Jenya, because she brings so much amazing information about your wellness and your routine to the table. So get ready to learn from her and, of course, take notes. Thank you guys so much for joining me. Zhenia, it's so nice to have you on. Thank you so much for joining me. Thank you so much for having me. Absolutely, I adore your work. I think that you are definitely making such an impact in the lives of a lot of people with your energy, with your teaching, with your wellness guidance, and I think it's such a purposeful position to fulfill as a human being. Can you tell us how this idea was born?
Speaker 1:Yeah, first of all, I'm very excited to be here and to talk about the topics which are really close to my heart. I'm very passionate about wellness, about the wellness routine and habits, and I believe that health both physical and mental is the foundation of everything we do. That's why we all need to create a wellness routine and to make it a habit for a lifetime result, and my path to wellness started with my personal chronic health issues and, after I healed myself, I've decided that I need to share my knowledge and to help people to create their path to wellness, to help them heal themselves and also to help them be the healthiest and the best self-sufficer possible.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's beautiful.
Speaker 1:Do you feel comfortable sharing about your experience with health? What did you experience that woke you up a little bit? It was always part of me, but, thanks to my mom, I always were doing natural remedies, never put any steroids on me or anything, but all my life I was concentrating only on, you know, knowledge, on the university and everything. I was never concentrating on my health. But what happened after having my second baby? It was the time when COVID started, and then I was like home with two small kids my son was one year old and four months old and my daughter was born and I stayed home, no work, nothing.
Speaker 1:Of course, it affected my mental health as well and also my physical health. The symptoms that I was having it was like I was always bloated. The symptoms that I was having it was like I was always bloated. I already at that time, had chronic diarrhea, chronic constipation and mental health. Everything were affected, you know, and I decided that I one day I remember that I just woke up and decided that I need to change something, I need to change my life, that I need to change something. I need to change my life, and I really want to tell people that we are just one decision away from a totally different life. And when you have chronic illness, it's not the end of the world. It's not up to doctors or up to anyone if you can stay like that or just to take some pills for the rest of your life. You can just make the decision and change your life. That's what I did, and I started with a therapy. Really, that was my first step. Yeah, how was that experience?
Speaker 2:for you.
Speaker 1:It was first time, actually, but it was really beneficial for me because at that time I really needed a mental help. Beneficial for me because at that time I really needed a mental help and therapy was the beginning of everything and I did about maybe six months and then, yeah, good for you, you didn't quit. No, I didn't, because I was really consistent of that, because I really knew that that's something that really is helping me, because I wanted to be a best mom for my kids, you know, and I couldn't manage it all at that time. That was something I really needed, that I need to do that. And then, after that, I decided that I need to do need to take care of my physical health as well. And after going to the best doctors from UCLA, what I discovered for myself, doing lots of research, that I should be my own doctor. Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1:I should be my own doctor and I should start taking care of myself. But I didn't have any knowledge about that. So I was really. I'm an economist by my first profession. I have a master's degree in business management, so I really was very far from medicine. But I decided that I have to study that, yeah, and now I'm a certified holistic health and wellness coach. I've studied holistic nutrition at Institute of Integrative Nutrition, which I've studied holistic nutrition at Institute of Integrative Nutrition, and that all the information helped me to start healing myself. And I started to see the changes already, you know, even in the not in the end of the classes, just from the beginning.
Speaker 2:What did you experience? So yes, I do understand the autoimmune. And then, having given birth and not being physically at your best health condition. What do you think you were experiencing mentally when you were not in that best health position? What was going on with you mentally that you had a psychotherapist position? What was?
Speaker 1:going on with you mentally that you had to seek a therapist. You know I was not feeling myself. I would say that all my life I have been an overachiever, a perfectionist, always like trying to be my best, trying to achieve something, and I used to that lifestyle and staying home with the kids. I was feeling myself not enough, you know, and all that mental health of course affected my physical health as well. And then after that it started already to become chronically everything, Because everything was just, you know something. You have pain here, you have pain there, and how we all think that it's going to go away. Everything is fine, no one is healthy, but after not taking care of myself for a while, it's already was something chronic, you know. For me?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it does, and it's interesting that when we don't take care of our physical well, first of all mental, how it affects our physical. And this is where we're going to get into this routine that you created. This is the birth that you know. I think that every wonderful, wonderful idea of a human being is born from such a gnarly experience of life. So tell us, why do you think, from a professional perspective, routine is essential in our life?
Speaker 1:Wellness routine is the foundation of everything we do. It's really important for our physical health, for our mental health and because of doing consistently the wellness practices, we can effectively manage all life's ups and downs. We are building resilience through that. So, even though, if you are not even sick you don't even have a chronic illness it's very important to start creating your wellness routine to build that resilience for yourself, for the future, you know, and also overall. It's very important and I wanted to mention that the wellness routine it's not only our physical health, it's creating harmony within our mind, body and soul. So, yeah, I truly believe in holistic health and I truly believe that it's not only our physical health, it's not only the movements, the nutrition that we eat, the sleep routine and everything. It's also our mind, body and soul, like everything connected to each other.
Speaker 2:I love that. Can you please explain to us how the wellness is correlated with our mind, body and soul?
Speaker 1:Yes, of course, as we know that our gut is connected to our brain, right? So whatever is happening in our gut, it affects our brain and vice versa. And we know that 90% of serotonin is in our gut, so that's a huge amount. And if anybody don't% of serotonin is in our gut, so that's a huge amount. And if anybody don't know, serotonin is a feel-good chemical that helps us to regulate our appetite, mood and sleep. So it's really important care of your gut. If you are doing everything to have a healthy gut, then you have a higher serotonin levels and you are doing yourself a favor to have less anxiety, to have less mood swings. So, yeah, it's really important and we have that connection there, our gut to our brain.
Speaker 2:Yeah, how does that help the soul? What do you think, what are your opinions about that?
Speaker 1:You know, I think that health is not only about, like I said, physical and mental. Yes, we should take care of our soul as well, because it's not only whatever we are eating, what kind of physical exercises we do. It's about the relationship that we have in our life. It's about the people that we surround ourselves, the books that we are reading, being mindful of what we're watching, how much time we spend on the internet. You know, everything is connected and how thankful you are in your life. So, with all that, that's a spiritual practices that we all should do. It's not only because there, you know, at it, there are some people that they eat healthy, they take care of their you know mind, they do the regular physical activity, but it's still something is not right with them. Right, something is not enough. That's because they are not doing the soul work.
Speaker 1:Yeah, do you teach soul work? I teach, like everything. I want to say that I'm doing wellness workshops every month and actually a wellness routine is. I didn't say that I'm the creator of the wellness routine in the beginning. It's okay, I would have said it for you. Yeah, and what is it? It's a community. It's a platform where I teach people holistic health and wellness and make them live balanced and fulfilling lives, and started from April, I was doing wellness workshops every month and I'm usually taking like different topics each month. And what I'm doing I'm not only concentrating on healthy nutrition or, you know, physical activities and everything. It's also everything together. I'm teaching like how to be your best possible self, and to be your best possible self, you should take care of your mind, body and soul.
Speaker 2:Do you think that you have worked on yourself to the level of feeling content with yourself that you're able to teach?
Speaker 1:Yes, I do believe that. Yes, I think if you think about if we are ready or not, we never are ready. That's another thing. I would have been like that before, because I'm a perfectionist and I always think that something is not enough. I was always thinking like that basic, simple things people don't know, I feel like I have to teach them, because sometimes you think that everybody knows that simple things and then you realize that it's not like that. So now I'm teaching whatever I know the best. Of course, there is a lot of things I have to learn and I want to dive deep into that that's a given for any human yeah.
Speaker 1:And I love all the learning process and I'm going to do that, you know, till the end of my life, but for now I feel like there is a lot of things that I can give people and they can benefit from that.
Speaker 2:So, going back to routine, do you think that routine is important?
Speaker 1:Routine is very important. Routine is actually was had a crucial part of my healing journey Without my routine, without my morning routine. I want to mention the morning routine especially because how you start your day, it's actually how your day goes right. So my morning routine made a really crucial part of my healing journey because, with being with the two kids, always being in a rush, not having time for anything, I always put my alarm. I remember one hour before they wake up and I started all my practices. You know, whatever is good for me, for my mind, body and soul.
Speaker 1:Like I said, I was doing the meditation, I was doing the physical activity, Sometimes I was doing yoga at home, Sometimes I was just walking in our neighborhood, just 15 minutes, I was journaling, reading a book, whatever I could do within that hour, and then my whole day was changing. But before, when I was just starting my day in a rush, and when your alarm rings and you don't know where to start, where to finish, at the end of the day you feel like your day went by and you didn't notice. Right, that's true. Do you have a wellness routine, Edith I?
Speaker 2:have. Oh my gosh, I, since the birth of my son, have not stopped what I do on a daily basis, like I live off of my routine, and I think it's one of the most key factors of I'm going to be a little bit of a. You know, when we tend to compliment ourselves we get a little uncomfortable of it, but I proudly say that I can proudly announce that wherever I am in life right now and that I'm so proud of is because I was so consistent with waking up at the same time, going to sleep at the same time and, in between, doing everything at the same time. And without that there is no other way to success. I mean to me when people say, what about motivation? I think that motivation just doesn't exist. It just doesn't happen.
Speaker 2:Motivation comes from seeing results. I agree with you. If you do something very small consistently for three weeks and you see the result of it, you will gain the motivation. You will learn to motivate yourself by just constantly seeing the result. It just doesn't grow on a tree like that. When they say, get motivated, get motivated. It's not easy like that. There's a big mental game to that. So routine really helps with stamina, motivation. It really does, and it can be something so small like brushing your teeth at 8 am in the morning for three weeks every day. Right, you know? Yeah, so, but since you are so, I want you to teach us this. Why is routine so important? That's my first question. Second question I want to dive into what can we do, what can people do to keep the routine going, because it's hard. It's hard and people quit and go back to their old habits.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:So I think that's my main concern, Like there's a certain amount of time that research shows it takes to really what do you call it? Digest the routine system, Make it a habit. Make it a habit.
Speaker 1:They usually say it's about 30 days. Yes, to make it a habit. I have to disagree with that. Yeah, it's so different. Yeah, I think like every person is different and I wanted to say that I agree with you that it's really difficult to maintain a routine. It's not that it's easy and it's for everyone. And I also agree with you that you don't have to hold on to the motivation, because motivation comes and goes.
Speaker 1:I've felt that in my life, it comes and goes, because sometimes there are days that I really don't have a motivation to do anything. You want to just lie in your bed and do nothing. But then you remember your why. And I want to start with that because I always teach in my wellness classes the exact steps, how to maintain the routine, and I want to tell you about that so the first thing yes, so the first thing is to know exactly your values and goals, to know your why. That's very important, like why you're doing the routine.
Speaker 1:Why you're doing that why you want to live a healthy and fulfilling life. You have to remember that because on the days when you don't have motivation, you remember your why, why I started to do this in the beginning and why I have to continue it, what's my values, what's my goals, what's your big picture, where you want to go. And on those days you lean into that. You know You're not only thinking about the short-term benefits. You see the big picture and you see where you're going. And on the days when you don't have energy, don't have mood to do something, to go for a walk, to do your physical movement or to brush your teeth, like you said, like very simple thing, you just remember why you started in the beginning and what's your bigger picture, where you want to go. That's the first thing. And the second thing I want to say that that are the small steps.
Speaker 1:Never underestimate the power of small steps. That's really important because what I've discovered in my classes people are saying, for example, they wanted to work out five times a week. Right, and whenever they don't have time, they just stop doing it and they just wait for a perfect time to just do it. But if you have time right now, just one time a week, then just do one time a week and the rest of the time just do minimal things like five minutes a day in your pajamas. Just do any movement, a home workout or just walk in your neighborhood 10 minutes, like whatever you can do to be consistent in your routine.
Speaker 1:So the power of small steps is really important, because we always think we want to do this, we're going to do that and also I think you will agree that Instagram fools us. You open the Instagram and everybody's doing everything. You see that wellness girls right, and they're doing like everything. They have this perfect one-hour routine and you think you should maintain that, but you don't know their situation, their lifestyle, their responsibilities. You don't know anything about that.
Speaker 2:Oh, I come across that. I come across that with a lot of moms that I work with and it's really unfortunate this view that they see and this self-judgment that they take from that view and I always tell them look, everybody has such a different lifestyle.
Speaker 2:Some of the moms that I work with, realistically speaking, they're on their own, like they don't have a lot of help, and they have like three, four children. I genuinely mean that. So I think that why that you're talking about is so important, because it can connect with these mothers that have this real, unrealistic expectations of themselves by just viewing other wellness women on Instagram and comparing themselves. I want to really quickly dive into the why, because it is one of the most important questions in my consulting firm as well.
Speaker 2:I think it's important for any human being in any business to know their why, any person to know their why. How do you help a mother or a man or a father, anyone who is struggling with their why, like? If they don't know their why, how can we help them discover?
Speaker 1:You know, I believe that every answer is within us. It's not a therapist, it's not a health coach, it's not anybody knows better than you. Yes, so what I teach in my how I work with the clients I don't give them information, because you know, information now it is everywhere, right, but people are still struggling. So I help them with their transformation and I give them the safe space where they can find what's right for them and to move from there when they have the safe space to talk and to see what's going on with them, because sometimes, even when we are at home, we are not honest with ourselves, right? We just need that safe space to open up and to see, and I truly believe that every answer is within us. When you're going to dive deep into yourself, you're going to find the answers, and that's how I'm working.
Speaker 2:What answers do you usually get? What are the whys of most women and men?
Speaker 1:It's different. It's, of course, different. Yeah, for example, I would say for me how it was. My why is to be my best self for my kids. That's my why, because I want to be an example for them. I want to not teach them something, but to show them. And you see, I've read somewhere that says that the best education that you can give your children is working on yourself and to be your best self. So that's what I'm thinking, and my big why is to be my best self for my kids and to be an example for them, and mostly for mothers is like that, because they want to be the best for their families, for their kids?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think so too. I think it's so important to model that behavior.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, we can always tell, I think I mean, look, we're close to the same age. But when I look back and I think about like moms in the 1980s in Armenia or any other country in the 1990s, I rarely see them take care of themselves. Even now I don't think that it was such a priority, you know.
Speaker 1:So we, essentially we- grew up not watching that. Yes, that's why we didn't take care of ourselves as well. That's why I came to that when I had like two kids and stayed at home, it was always about them, because my mom is still making everything about me and my brother. So they are doing everything for the kids and not taking care of themselves. But now it's different. Now, in this modern world, it's not only bad things happening. The good thing is that everybody's watching to each other and seeing that they should take care of themselves, you know, and to be a role model for their kids, because kids catch, you know they to be a role model for their kids. Because kids catch, you know, they just catch whatever they see. Even though you're going to tell them like a thousand times something, if they're going to, for example, read a book, if they don't see you reading a book, they're not going to read a book.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, it's always about modeling that behavior. So what you're saying is that you can still want to take care of your kids but, at the same time, model that behavior of taking care of yourself, so that you can be a better example.
Speaker 1:Yes, of course you are not being selfish doing that. That's what we are thinking. I was thinking the same thing in the beginning. Yes, I was thinking that I'm selfish that I'm making regular breakfast for me and I don't have time to do this or that. But then you realize that if you're not going to be your best self especially when women have chronic illnesses then you have to take care of yourself, because I wasn't my best at all. There were days where I was just laying in bed and couldn't do anything, you know. So at that time I was remembering those bad days and not seeing already so selfish doing some things for myself. Everything started from there. To put myself first. It's really something. Maybe we listen a lot. To take care of yourself. The self-care is very important. Put yourself first. But honestly, when you do that and you feel that, you'll see the difference.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, absolutely so. Tell us how people can develop routine. There's a lot of men and women watching right now that don't know where to begin and how to form a routine.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So first of all, I said to know your values and goals, to start with the why, the why, and then the second was the small steps. The third one is to create a plan. You should have an exact plan how you should implement that into your daily life. For example, if you want to do that in the morning, in the evening or during your day, you should have an exact plan how to do that. To create that in the morning, in the evening or during your day, you should have an exact plan how to do that. To create that plan.
Speaker 1:Then it's very important to track your progress at the end of each week. That's very important because what people usually do, when they fail at some point someday, they just stop doing it. That's another reason that people are not developing consistent routines, because they just don't see the results. And when you track your progress at the end of each week and you see where you were and where you are now and you celebrate your small wins, that's another thing which is very important in creating routines to have it for a lifetime, you know, not for a short term.
Speaker 1:Another important thing I would mention to be flexible. For example, there could be days that you don't have time to do that. You are usually doing, let's just say, one hour routine, right, but that day your kid is sick. If you are a mom, if you are a man, for example, you have this work deadline that you should do and you can't follow your regular routine. That's okay. You just do five to 10 minutes. So being flexible to the situations, whatever is going on in your life, it's also really important. So you can just take it a day, you know it's okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like routine also can be very addicting, like it becomes such a habit where you don't. And this is, I think, one of the parts where I wanted to dive into, because, being somebody who is all about the routines, I find myself sometimes saying to myself oh my God, like I didn't do this. And I know that that balance is okay, but what advice would you give the people that do form this routine and don't have time for that? So you're saying, be flexible, but it could be very anxiety provoking for some people. What?
Speaker 2:are your thoughts on that. I mean from a personal experience too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know from a personal experience, just don't be hard on yourself. Yeah, yeah, Self-compassion. I would say the next step is self-compassion, to have that self-compassion for yourself. Just don't be hard on yourself and don't think that everything that's happening in your life it's your fault. You know everything can happen and you just like imagine if your friend is coming to you and is saying you that you know this thing's happening in my life and what you're going to answer? You're going to tell them that it's okay, this will pass. You're a human. You should have the same self-compassion to yourself as you have to your friend, because what we usually do we are compassionate to everyone else but not to ourselves we self-judge right, we think that everything is our fault and if we are failing at something, then that's the end of the world. But it's not.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think one thing I would love to have people really take away from this podcast is to understand that this whole routine, the wellness routine, is all about really self-care and really putting yourself for and really just nurturing yourself. Yeah, because amongst all these things that women and men have to do like men have to be the providers women are the nurturers taking care of the house, baking bread, this that it just it just it gets. The routine gets lost sometimes. When do you ever find the time to really do these things for yourself? Because it just it gets so lost sometimes and I have so much empathy for women who have this question.
Speaker 1:I don't know I get this question asked a lot you know, I want to say in my example, for example, before pregnancy I had like a different routine Really, and after that I'm just taking everything easy. You know you should just like I said it's again the same thing, we're coming to the same thing to be flexible and when you slow down in life you just be mindful of whatever you're doing and you're not always in a rush. That's, you know, a lot of mind work. It's not just one day work that people can do. It's I came like it's been like a couple of years already since I'm working on every detail of my life that I have this slow life right now. I'm not rushing anywhere, even when your house is not clean, you're not rushing.
Speaker 1:You know that's a problem of all moms. I love a clean house, I know.
Speaker 2:I know, but why I wanted to bring this up is because I know the men and women watching this particularly the wives of men. They're going to be like my house is so like I don't. I think that that's such an essential part of the lives of women right now. It's that clean house. They'll drop brushing their teeth, they'll drop eating the breakfast, just to have that clean home. That's. That's a that's a level of anxiety.
Speaker 1:No, you know what. What's my routine is the first thing I'm taking care of myself, the first thing when I waking up, I have my hour. If it's an hour or 30 minutes or five minutes, I'm doing something first, or a couple of hours, right yeah? First for me, something for me.
Speaker 2:What do you do for yourself?
Speaker 1:What's your routine? Like my routine, like before pregnancy, like I said, it's like, yeah, now it's like I'm waking up before the kids, I'm doing my meditation. I see that on your stories. Yeah, I meditate. It's not like every day. I want to say that One day I'm not doing it, I'm not feeling guilty of not doing it and I'm not feeling anxiety of not doing the meditation. If one day I can do the meditation for example, kids walk up before me I would just go for a walk when everybody is there. I would just go for a walk when everybody is there. I would just go for a walk for 15 minutes. Or I can do anything. You know, I can make a green juice for me and drink it. You know something to nurture either my mind, my body or my soul, anything.
Speaker 2:It's not always everything together, you know so even if you have sorry to cut you off. It's so much sugar as we say in Armenian when you have all these things and I want this to be very clear because I want people to hear this Even if you have so many things to do at home, you still say, no, I'm not going to do whatever I have to do in the house, I'm more important. I'm going to make my green juice, I'm going to take my deep breaths. I come first, not my house. Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1:That's absolutely important for you. Absolutely important.
Speaker 2:How did you get to that level of that acceptance.
Speaker 1:Because I already saw, when I'm not doing it, what kind of person I'm becoming.
Speaker 2:And what kind of a person.
Speaker 1:Do you think you're becoming, With anxiety, more nervous, yelling at kids? You? Know, sometimes Not having patience with them, not liking myself, you know, and then the rest of the day I can't concentrate on anything, or just the day is going so fast, you just don't notice it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you become a really unhappy, miserable person, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I did that too and I saw myself what kind of person I'm becoming and I don't like myself that way, you know.
Speaker 2:It's understandable, yeah.
Speaker 1:And when you see that and when you are conscious, and when you see that you really don't want to be that person and you want to be your best self. I already learned that lesson for me that for me to be my best self, I have to do something for me, even a small thing in the beginning of the day for me, that for me to be in my best self, I have to do something for me, even a small thing in the beginning of the day for me, just for me. And then after that, of course, I clean the house, because if my house is a mess, I can concentrate on doing anything. So that comes after I clean the house. But also if, for example, one day I don't have time to do the dishes, I can leave it for the next day. How do you live with that?
Speaker 2:How do you live with? Just leaving the dishes Very good, comfortable, you know.
Speaker 1:I want to say that was the thing that helped me to get rid of my perfectionism. Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:How does it do it? The?
Speaker 1:dishes, because before it was not like that. Yes, exactly the dishes. Because before it was not like that. Even 12 am in the evening, I would clean the dishes and then go back to bed, tired, not reading a book for my kids, not having time for them not doing the evening routine for them because the dishes were more important for me at that time.
Speaker 2:But, Jenny, at that we smile about it because we worked on it. We're at that stage where I don't care I could leave the house dirty for three days, as long as my kids and I and my husband are important, but there's so many moms who are in this situation. That's why I think that it's so important to bring this up, because, yeah, look at that, it's relatable content. We were those women that cleaned everything and went to bed dirty, just so. Yeah, everything is tidy up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I did, and I was more nervous when I was like doing everything. I was so tired I couldn't even talk to my husband, couldn't read a book for my kids, so I was a different person. But everything was super clean. So now I know my house is like tidy, I really like a tidy house, but the dishes it's the one thing that I'm really doing. The dishes can wait. It's not like mandatory for me to do it. I'm trying to do it every day, especially when I have time. Of course, it's not that I'm intentionally putting it away, but there are days.
Speaker 2:You prioritize?
Speaker 1:There are days when we go out, for example with the kids, and I come back home in the evening and I don't have time to do the dishes. I would rather do the nighttime routine for my kids, read a book for them, talk to them about their day, then do the dishes. But before my priority was the dishes.
Speaker 2:You know other than doing all that. Let me ask this, and I don't know if you would agree with this, but from a therapeutic standpoint, I think that sometimes women and men can focus on exterior activities, like the motive of the house being clean because it's much more easier to clean up what's in front of you versus what's inside. Yeah, that's what I've learned from my experience. It's so much easier to clean wipe this, wipe that and it's so hard to really dive in and clean and wipe whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because it's a lot of work and sometimes we're not even conscious of it. So of course women have these and men have these OCD tendencies. Not even a diagnosis, but speaking from a cleaning perspective, Of course women and men are going to put the focus on cleaning everything, because it's so much easier to clean objects versus what's really killing you on the inside.
Speaker 1:I never thought about it, but I agree with you.
Speaker 2:You see what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:It's like you're putting a band-aid, you know, and you're not taking care of yourself. So yeah, you're right, I agree with you.
Speaker 2:It's so easy Like, look, we don't have a clean house. You go in an hour, boom, vacuum this. That it's easy, but the work that you have to do on yourself takes months and sometimes years.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it took me months and years to come to this, because even people who know me, they knew me very emotional person. I'm really emotional, but now I can control my emotions. I can control my emotions, I can control whatever I talk, you know, because I have that peace inside of me and that peace doesn't just came like, doesn't just come like overnight, it just really. It's a hard work that you do for yourself and you're right, it's not just an easy clean home. You're just taking care of yourself and you are putting a lot of time for you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, and this is why, when we talk about routine and falling from routine and going back to old habits because it's so much easier to clean what you see versus what you feel yeah, yeah, I agree with you. You know, and these anxieties, the depression, the miserable lives that people are living, it's not easy living and feeling those things.
Speaker 2:So it's like let me clean everything else. It'll give me a temporary relief for like a day or 24 hours, but then you're back to feeling crappy again. So not a lot of people are willing to work on themselves, which is so unfortunate, because I think everybody's such a beautiful flower in their own way yes, they are, and because they don't want to look to the reality. Yeah.
Speaker 1:They don't want to look to the reality.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they don't want to look to the reality.
Speaker 1:It's hard. It's hard because sometimes it's really painful.
Speaker 2:You would agree.
Speaker 1:I think you would have a lot of patients right, oh yeah, they don't want to look to the reality because it's really painful for them. But when you do that deep work and then after, the life becomes so much beautiful so much easier. Life is really very easy. We make it very difficult honestly it's really easy now what I see.
Speaker 1:Like there are days like before, how I was, how I used to be, I always were looking to do something fun in order to feel that happiness. You know, to have that dopamine, you know. But whenever, for example, one weekend, we didn't do anything fun, it was already a mood change for me. I didn't feel good about that. But then, after doing the inner work, you realize that happiness is within you, within yourself. It's not somewhere else, it's not in some external things, it's just within you and it's very simple. You can just be at home, just watch a movie with your family, cook a nutritious food for them and feel that happiness. You don't need anything, you don't need any material things. You don't need any, you know expensive things in your life in order to feel that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that society just you know, I had on a sergeant yesterday and we were talking about how everything just changed so much. Social media just completely washed away the hearts of all women. It's so competitive now, everyone is competing against each other and it's not even a healthy competition. You know, it's toxic, it's very toxic and it took away a lot of happiness. And before being a stay, are you a stay-at-home mom, by the way?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:I think well, I mean, you're a mom, it doesn't matter, Either way you go home and you have to be a mom. But before, like, being a mom was such a graceful position for a woman to possess, but now it's frowned upon because we have to fit in the norm.
Speaker 1:Because now what you're seeing Instagram, right, the moms who have three kids, who are a successful businesswoman, who are doing everything, taking care of themselves, always in fit, you know, and you think that their life is so much easier than yours and you don't have time to do all this. You know what I was thinking at it when I stayed home with my two kids and I was just a stay-at-home mom, how you said I was feeling the same thing that I'm not enough. Yeah, I was thinking that I'm not enough. Yeah, I was thinking that I'm not enough. I'm doing that. Being mother is not enough.
Speaker 1:But now, after doing all this work, it's the most important. It's my, it's the greatest title of my life. To be a mom Other than being a health coach or to have these degrees, to have that or whatever career I would achieve in the future, being mother would be my greatest role, yeah, the biggest career. And now I understand that. But before it was not enough for me, because I was always used to achieve something, because that's how my parents taught me. You know to do something, you know to achieve something. And then, after I realized that that's enough, that's more than enough, because that's the hardest job in the world. It is, it is.
Speaker 2:I'm a stay-at-home mom from Sunday to Thursday. I work Fridays and Saturdays and I'll tell you it is so hard, it's harder than to work outside, right. I mean my kids are beating me. It's so tough. It's harder than to work outside, right? I mean my kids are beating me, it's so tough. They're very good kids. It's not because they're spoiled or anything, but it's just hard.
Speaker 1:How old are?
Speaker 2:they. Nazany just turned one. Well, she's 16 months. So, yeah, may, she turned one and Noy is 11. And it's tough. They told me that the age gap would be easier because Noe is older. But no, like, he has his own, he has studying, he has tests, he has homework, he has activities. I have to. You know it's a lot, so I don't know. I think I praise all moms, but moms have such a dear place in my heart where that's why I always want to have a guest to teach them something, even dads, but particularly moms, because my audience majority are moms. But I always want to teach them something, something to help them to this wellness.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And if it's routine that we can get them to do, let's get them to do it, yeah.
Speaker 1:And being consistent in the routine. That's very important. Yeah, it's something the mothers would take from this conversation to put themselves first. Maybe they've heard that a lot, but that's really important. When you put yourself first, you're being an example for your kid. For example, if you have a daughter, right when your daughter will grow up and you will see her doing the same thing that you're doing now, would you be happy? You should ask that question to yourself, or what kind of woman you want to see your daughter to grow up to be? Of course you want to see her happy, to live in a fulfilling and balanced life, not to just take care of the kids and the family, and that kind of mother you should be now for your kids to be that example for themselves. And when they see a happy mom, really when you are living a fulfilling, unbalanced life, the kids are thriving. Honestly, I've seen that in my kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, I was reading a gosh. I forgot, and I know people are going to ask me for the article. I'll try to find it and post it. I was reading, gosh, I forgot, and I know people are going to ask me for the article. I'll try to find it and post it, I promise. But I was reading that the most successful kids come from guess where. What do you think? Happy moms? The mother's smile? Yeah, I would guess. Yeah. Like what contributes to a child's success is the smile of the mother's smile. Yeah, I would guess. Yeah. Like what contributes to a child's success is the smile of the mother, the size of the smile of the mother.
Speaker 1:I think that's such a good foundation and that all depends how much time you're dedicating to yourself, how much self-care you're doing, what kind of routine you have. That's all very important. And also one more thing I want to suggest to moms as well to always ask for help. We all especially, you know, armenian moms we want to do everything by ourselves. I was, I'm still that kind of mom, but I know where I need help and I can ask for help in that case. But always ask for help If it's a friend, if it's your mother, if it's a specialist, a therapist, a coach. Always ask for help, because it's not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. When you ask for help, it is, it's the hardest. If I wouldn't ask for help a couple of years ago, I wouldn't be here living this fulfilling and balanced life ago. I wouldn't be here living this fulfilling, unbalanced life. You know it's very important to make that decision to yourself and to ask for help whenever you feel like you need that.
Speaker 2:I think one of the things that I've learned during my lifetime is three most difficult words I'm sorry, I love you and I need help.
Speaker 1:That's very powerful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, how difficult it is to ask for help. It's difficult, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Especially when you you know how we grew up in Armenia always to do everything on your own. That's how my mom told us. You know to do everything on your own.
Speaker 2:Because they did everything on their own. Yes, you know so we kind of picked that up and we learned that that's it, that's the way, but it's like no.
Speaker 1:And even if you are in a worse situation, you never ask for help, right? You feel like it's your. You should do everything on yourself. You don't even ask for help sometimes to your husband, right? A lot of women are like that, but it's okay to do everything together. It's okay to ask your mom or a friend or a professional for help, because you can't do everything on your own that the mother should understand that as well.
Speaker 2:I think husbands also need to understand that as well, because it's very when, when there's this obscene amount of expectation on women, it's so hard. I think women when we were talking about the success of the kids, which is the smile of the mother.
Speaker 2:The husband also has a part of that. He contributes to that smile. So I think women also are in this position of unfortunately. It's heartbreaking to say, but there's so many women in different cultures that are not really happy in marriages and I know this, this you know taking care of themselves no matter how much you preach, no matter how much I preach, it's going to be so hard for them to reach because of this really unhappy place. And it's so unfortunate and it's so hard to encourage women to really take care of themselves when the only thing they see is if my husband's happy and good.
Speaker 2:I'll be happy and good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a wrong mentality.
Speaker 2:It is the wrong mentality, even the relationship.
Speaker 1:right, it's hard work. I want to say it's really hard work. You have to work on everything. If I see in my life I work on everything, I work in my relationship with my husband.
Speaker 1:I work with the relationship with my kids, with my mother, with my life, like I work on everything. I work in my relationship with my husband, I work with the relationship with my kids, with my mother, with my friends, with the community that I've created and I'm serving my community. And everything is a hard work, Like nothing comes easy. When you see a happily married couple, you think that they just happy like that. No, it's really a hard work. You intentionally create the joyful days for you too, right? You create a date night or you create a space where you can talk together. And everything comes from a decision. That's what I want to say. If you're going to wake up one day and make a decision to change your life, to create your life how you want it to be, it can be like that. If you believe in that, it's really going to happen, because everything starts from our minds. It's really true. Our mind is very powerful. If you're going to believe that you're going to have that fulfilling and happy life, you're going to manifest that into your life.
Speaker 2:Do you believe in manifestation? Yes. Have you manifested anything in your lifetime?
Speaker 1:Yes, I'm still constantly manifesting yeah, did you manifest this podcast.
Speaker 2:You said you did last time.
Speaker 1:Unconsciously.
Speaker 2:Maybe unconsciously because the first time I met you, you're like, oh, am I ready? I'm like, of course, yes, see, the conversation's going so wonderful. Yeah, and I'm so glad you're here. So tell me about this manifestation, what really led you to believe in it? Because some people think it's magic of some sort, but I think it's one of the most important skills that a person needs to learn.
Speaker 1:It's not magic. First of all you have to. The meditation helps with that. Yeah, of course, when you are already trusting your intuition, where you're regularly meditating, it helps with that. And the manifesting is like you know, it's just so simple. It's just seeing the big picture is like you know, it's just so simple, it's just seeing the big picture where you want to go. But then the most important part of manifesting is to let it go to surrendering. After manifesting, you should surrender and to give it to the universe, to the God, whatever you name it, and to trust that everything will happen on its own. You're not just manifesting and think every day that this is going to happen, you know, or when this is going to happen. You just surrender and just let it go. That's the secret ingredient in the manifestation yeah.
Speaker 1:Do you believe in God? Yes, of course I do. I do, and some people you know think if you are meditating, you don't believe in God.
Speaker 2:Have you heard that? Yeah, it's a bad. It's against Christianity. Yoga they say yoga is a sin.
Speaker 1:You know, nowadays. I don't believe in that because I believe in God, I believe in God's plan.
Speaker 1:I always pray, every day before bed, believe in God, I believe in God's plan. I always pray every day before bed, but that doesn't go against to do meditation in the morning, because meditation is first, for me, is a breath work, and breath work is regulating our nervous system. If you want to, I can tell you one more thing about the wellness routine. Like the two most important things that you should take care of yourself, that is, your gut and your nervous system. So for nervous system, you have to do a nervous system regulation techniques. So what are those techniques? You do yoga, you do meditation, you do journaling, you do a lot of things which can regulate your nervous system. So for me, meditation first of all is a breath work. It's just a breath work when you don't think about anything and you're just breathing, and that helps with your anxiety, with your mood swings, with everything. You have a better sleep, better mood and less anxiety.
Speaker 1:So yeah, so it doesn't go against each other. That's what I think it's very important.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like I am a deep believer in meditation. Yeah, you do, Absolutely, and you believe in God. I absolutely believe in God. But there's something here that I wanted to share that there's so many different levels of meditation. People think that you have to sit there in a chair and just close your eyes and breathe. You can meditate while you're cleaning. You can meditate while you're standing. You can meditate while you're speaking to someone.
Speaker 2:Everything. Meditation's all around you. It doesn't necessarily. I don't want to scare people to think that that's the only level of meditation. You can meditate however fits Like I remember when I first started meditating about I would say like 10 years ago I would look at a rose and I would because I found it's a good technique.
Speaker 2:It's a very good and I found this technique from a book I read called the Monk who Sold His Ferrari. Have you read that book? No, I haven't. So that book is, and my personal experience is the reason why I do what I do today. But I have so many notes in that book and one of the monks in the book teaches the attorney who's you know. The story is all about this really famous attorney who just women, cars, just flashy life in New York, just drops everything and goes to Tibet and becomes a monk, and it's his story of why that happened to him and why he got there. But the story was teaching you how you can just stare in a rose and look at the petals and just focus on each petal with your breath, and it's fascinating how it's teaching you not to think of anything. Of course you are concentrating on one thing, one thing, and that technique I still have every. I mean I have fresh flowers in my house all the time. Particularly in my bedroom there's a rose.
Speaker 2:And when I'm in a funky place, I take the rose and I sit on the floor and I just look. I don't close my eyes or anything. I just stare in the petals and it is such a liberating, calming feeling.
Speaker 1:You know, it's just that silence, that solitude. It's special, it's very special. Yes, that's one thing we should do in our daily life as well, in the mornings, especially to have that calm, peaceful energy which will go throughout the day, to just find that moment of stillness, that moment of solitude, and just be with ourselves, because at that moment you are just with yourself, right, and that's so important you just don don't listen. Sometimes you don't even need to listen any music or any podcast. You know anything there is walking meditation as well.
Speaker 1:You just walk and you notice every single thing around you, every flower, every leaf of the tree, every noise, and not to listen to any music or any podcast, anything. You just be with all that around you. And I know that you bake sourdough bread as well. Right, I do too, so that's another type of meditation.
Speaker 1:When you do that that's so calming, so peaceful. So I think you should not have just one thing which keep you. You know, in your present moment you should have a lot of things during the day. I think women meditate. That's right, it's a form of meditation.
Speaker 2:I think women are meditating. They don't even know it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when I was doing my practicum hours in therapy school, I worked in an eating disorder unit it's called Reasons and I finished my 3,000 hours there and I was working in the inpatient department, which is the most crucial. It's very difficult. So I was a therapist there and I led group classes of like 25, 30, sometimes 40 men, women, kids. That's your goal, right, when you're working with human beings that are under a hundred pounds, your goal is to keep them alive and to have them eat and not be afraid of food. So I was like, let me pick an orange and since I love meditating with a rose, let me help my clients, the ones that are assigned to me during group. Let's meditate with an orange. And guess what we did? It's pure silence. We started peeling the orange and we just started talking about where this orange came from where it traveled from.
Speaker 2:So that took their mind off the fear of eating that orange? Of course, yeah. And then we cut the orange with our hands, okay, we put it and smell it right and then smell it.
Speaker 2:It's mindfulness, it's mindful technique. Yeah, some people got triggered by the smell of the orange, some people didn't. But then we put the orange in our mouth and then we bite the orange and then the water splashed into your mouth and we would talk about the water splashing and how many months it took for this orange to grow. So that is a deep level of meditation that you're teaching people.
Speaker 1:That's a beautiful mindfulness practice.
Speaker 2:It is and it's so simple. But the whole idea, I think I think essentially where I don't know if you agree, but where women can start is just really noticing the items they have in their house. Yes, it's very important.
Speaker 1:As you told that. I remember that in my previous workshop, the theme was mindful and healthy eating and what I did? I brought fruits and each one should pick one fruit and then bite it, smell it, feel it and write down about that. There was a beautiful mindfulness practice that we did and then to draw how that fruit came like, who was the farmer, like where it came from, and I was like teaching that that, in order to start, you know eating mindfully, to not eat emotionally or fast and everything, you should just take it really slow and to feel the smell, to feel the taste and everything. So, yeah, that's, that's a beautiful mindfulness practice as well.
Speaker 2:I think so too. I think that it's very important to be aware, to be present.
Speaker 1:You know not to do everything in a rush.
Speaker 2:Yeah, also one other thing that I was do you know Tucker Carlson? Do you watch Tucker Carlson? He's an amazing reporter but he had on a doctor. She was talking about how she shops at farmer's market every Sunday, prepares her food, but she praise. She praise her on her food and how she gives these food a good energy, how this food is going to go into her system it's going to create all these new cells and heal all unhealed cells and how nurturing this food is going to be. I mean, I was just fascinated. Like where did we stop? Like we're not mindful of anything anymore. We just shove the food down our throats, chew quickly, eat quickly and just go and do the dishes. And then this we're not mindful of any of these beautiful moments anywhere, something so simple to live as eating provides. We're not even mindful of that anymore. That's just so sad to me. That's today's society. It's not just in California, it's everywhere in the world except our, grandparents, except our grandparents.
Speaker 2:I don't have any grandparents anymore, but I remember they did a phenomenal job. Being just present, my grandma would take about 45 minutes to eat Xenia. I'm not kidding you. Everybody would be out of that, I swear on anything.
Speaker 1:I bet she has the best digestion she has the best.
Speaker 2:She would chew her food. That's so important. This woman, my mom's mom, she would. Everybody would be done. Even if it's like a party event and we would be sitting there for hours, she would still not be finished with her food. She would. You know she had like a little pot out in her hand with the honey and the butter in this hand she would be eating other things. Very slow eater, but probably the most mindful eaters. I was fascinated with this woman and the way she ate.
Speaker 1:But what we were thought, edith, that to do everything quickly. Yeah, we were like hurry up, hurry up and her kids were like what you know.
Speaker 2:But I think as time grew on, as she got older, they learned to leave her alone. But she was just so mindful in anything this woman did. She was knitting, she was. That's a form of meditation you know as we call it, the EMDR therapy. Right, it's rapid eye movement, it's a form of therapy when you knit. So she was just so mindful in anything she did and I'm like this is their generation. What happened? It's just like changed drastically where we're rushing like crazy, mad women all the time.
Speaker 1:Yes, because the time is never enough for anybody, if you can listen right.
Speaker 1:Yes, it is enough. But if you're going to ask any person, they're going to say that 24 hours is not enough for me. But it's not true. That's not true. When you slow down, when you are really mindful of whatever you are doing, you see that you have the whole 24 hours a day, not just a 24 hours. So it's about your intention, how you see things. And you mentioned that the woman should see the small things in the room, right. So that's another beautiful practice of mindfulness to be present to notice the small things. Another thing I would suggest the gratitude practice. Oh, one of the most things. And other thing I would suggest the gratitude practice.
Speaker 2:Oh, one of the most healing things in the world.
Speaker 1:One of the most healing. I was the one who had that in me. It's by nature. But if you don't have that, if you don't say the good things, you always compare yourself with others and if it's, you know something great is not happening in your life, then you think something is missing and you don't feel happy.
Speaker 1:I would suggest to do the gratitude practice like every day for some period of time, at the time when you already when it's become a habit already for yourself and how to do that Either to do that in the morning either to do that in the evening, just to write down three simple things that you are grateful for that day. And when you have that questions in front of you, you start thinking right, of course you do what happened today, even if something great didn't happen. For example, you just had a very tasty meal in the morning, or your kid just came to you and kissed you and said how much he loved you. Or you just walked in your neighborhood and saw a beautiful flower, something very simple. And you are starting to notice in those things. When you have those questions in front of you, you already ask yourself every day and that way you're starting noticing the small things.
Speaker 1:That's another practice, because people hear a lot of things right Now. Information is everywhere they can listen. Okay, you should be grateful this, this or that, but there are really practical intervention, practical exercises that you should do every day. That's a work. You should work on those things every day to maintain that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the routine. That's the routine.
Speaker 1:We again come to routine. Because if you are not consistent, if you don't have that in your life, then you're going to do one thing one day and that's it, and it's not going to change your life. You're going to live the same life that you were living before. But if you want to change your life, change the quality of your life, you should start doing the work. That's a lot of work, because people sometimes see a woman who is like in this peace, in this living this happy life. They think that it's happening overnight or they just got lucky. But honestly, I want women to see those women as a woman who did a lot of work, because there is no woman or a man who just had all that overnight. They did a lot of work and I want them to not be lazy and to do the work, because only in that case they're going to see the results and they're going to change the quality of their life.
Speaker 2:Exactly. Yeah, to see the result. Yeah, absolutely. And I absolutely adore what you said in the beginning because it ties up the routine, and I can't put my finger on it now because it was so important I wanted to bring it up. I think you said oh, here it is. I think you said let all men and women think about who they are when they don't nurture themselves early in the morning, what they become. What kind of a person are you when you don't have your breakfast and when you don't have your coffee and you're immediately rushing to get this done, that clean, that clean this kid there, that kid there you know who are you becoming.
Speaker 1:Who are you becoming? Yeah, who are you becoming? It's not, it's. It's about that. It's not about what you are doing at this moment. Who are you becoming? To see the big picture, where, where you see yourself, what kind of man or what kind of woman you see yourself in the future, and to work on that every day. To be that person, to become that person? Yeah.
Speaker 2:Do you also believe that if you want to become a certain person, you also have to act like?
Speaker 1:Yes, I do believe in that Act like that right, I remember that I always….
Speaker 2:It's a form of meditation too.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's like manifesting too, it's like a form of manifestation.
Speaker 1:Yes, it is I remember that I was thinking about this life, that I'm not working in the office. I just have this free schedule where I can take care of my kids, I can do the job that I really love to do, which will be my purpose, and because nowadays, when I'm working every day, I don't feel like working, because I'm following my purpose. You know, I'm just doing whatever I like to do. It's not that I'm forcing something myself. So that's one more. One another thing important and yeah, I remember that I was seeing that big picture, seeing me being the healthiest person. Be healthy, be patient with my kids, because when you are tired I want to say when you are tired, when you are doing all these things and you don't do anything for yourself, you can't be the best mom, you can't or best person in general, or the best person, for your mother, for your friend, for your best wife, for your husband, Like in general.
Speaker 1:Like you said, you can't be that you should do something for yourself, Even if that's what I want to say. You don't have time, for some reason, in the morning to do that. Just find some moments throughout the day to be with yourself, Just you and you. That's very important. I think so too. And to listen with yourself just you and you. That's very important. I think so too. And to listen to yourself, like what are your thoughts?
Speaker 2:Any person needs to do that, right yeah any person.
Speaker 1:Everybody needs to do that. That's a very important thing to just be with yourself, to find that moment of stillness and to just like five minutes just to sit with you and not always to rush to on your to-do list and to check mark the things that you have to do. I used to be that person you know who always I still have to-do list, but it's, you know, it's the to-do list that I already um know in my mind that what I should do, but it's not mandatory. You know, I just right now I leave like go with the flow.
Speaker 2:That's the easiest way and that is the that I want to. I want to for the people that are watching, that are that are probably thinking okay, I want to learn, I want to. How do I? I want to make this clear and, jenny, I you can. You can disagree or agree that to get to that level of not having those check marks checked out is okay. Yes, because when you didn't check all those check marks in between, you had time to drink your green juice, to meditate, you had time to take a shower, you had time to do you. So I want people to genuinely understand that, to not care that you didn't do your dishes that night and to be okay with it. It's going to take work. Yes, it's not it's.
Speaker 2:I promise to everyone. It's not an overnight thing. People think that you're that way. It's because it just happened, but you were in therapy for how long?
Speaker 1:for six months in there and then after that as I work myself. There you go so years and I'm not saying it's going to be like this for everybody.
Speaker 2:But just for anyone watching know that it is going to take some time for you to be at the level when there is, uh, you know dirty clothes and you just don't want to pick it up when you go sleep. You'll sleep contentfully. It's going to take time for you to get there.
Speaker 1:Yes, it is, and I wanted to say that there is a magic pill, that they're going to happen with everybody overnight. But it's not. It's hard, it's not easy.
Speaker 1:I don't want people to be disappointed very quickly and by doing all those steps that I told them like to celebrate their small wins, to have self-compassion to themselves, to ask for help if they need that help, to have that big picture in front of them always, like they can do a vision board for themselves. They can put in front of them every day where they are going, when you have that picture, they can put in front of them every day where they are going, when you have that picture, big picture, in front of you, you don't give up Because, like you said in the beginning, motivation is nothing. Motivation comes and goes. Discipline, discipline what helps us.
Speaker 1:You should have that discipline and doing something consistently will eventually make a habit, right your routine will be a habit and one day you will look back and see that you are doing things not even thinking about it. It's not already taking a lot of time on your mind to okay, I have to meditate, For example, I woke up. You just do that because that's a habit already.
Speaker 2:Like you, brush your teeth right.
Speaker 1:It's a habit. You just brush your teeth and doing the other things that you do for after a while. I would say it's not 30 days, it's about six months. It took me about six months to make my routine a habit already, which I already can do like just close my eyes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 100%. Yes, I don't think that it's 30 days, I think it's a little bit more than that. And going back to the discipline, I want to say that I've I've also looked into discipline so hard and studied it so hard, because that's that's part of my work and I've discovered that discipline, the true definition, is how much you truly love yourself. That's one thing I can say about discipline. It's like how much do you genuinely love and respect yourself? If it's not much, then discipline is going to be not for you. But if you think that you deserve at least 80%, then you're definitely going to have a good time with discipline. It's really about how much you love yourself.
Speaker 1:And it's very important to love yourself first and to put yourself first. And you would agree that a lot of women are not like that, and when they see a woman who loves themselves, they think that, oh, that woman is selfish, she just loves herself.
Speaker 2:Well, they don't understand the meaning behind it.
Speaker 1:Think they're taking it from a different perspective yes, yes, I agree, you know, but every woman should love herself first, like everybody, not only women, men as well, no, no, no, absolutely.
Speaker 2:And then and then they. I think that a lot of relationships fail because women have these unrealistic expectations of women or men to make them happy. Of course, like I don't want to put that on my husband, it's not his job, to make them happy, of course, like. I don't want to put that on my husband. It's not his job to make me happy.
Speaker 1:Yes, I agree.
Speaker 2:You know it's our job to do good in the relationship and to grow with each other. But why would I put that responsibility on a person If I'm not? If I can't make myself happy if I'm not happy, why throw that responsibility on someone else? That's not fair. Yes, and also.
Speaker 1:I would add that if your husband, for example, sees that you are happy just by yourself, he's going to do everything to make you happy as well.
Speaker 2:Everything to double that.
Speaker 1:But if they're going to see that you don't love yourself, you don't put yourself first. They're going to take advantage of that.
Speaker 2:Yes, even the most honest men and people everywhere too, they're going to take advantage of that. Yes, even the most honest men and people everywhere too.
Speaker 1:Even the most honest men, I agree. So they should see that you love yourself, that you put yourself first, and they're going to give you more love and you know, everything will double up with that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, your mother-in-law needs to know that you love yourself. Your sister-in-laws need to know that you love yourself. Your husband needs to. Your need to know that you love yourself. Your husband needs to. Your parents need to. Everybody will feel the lack of love you have for yourself because you'll be walking around with nasty, miserable energy. Women and men need to do work on themselves for sure.
Speaker 1:There's no other way, but sometimes they don't think that it comes from there, right, when you see, with the positive energy, I don't know what they think, but they think it's like easy, okay, everything maybe is good in your life. That's why you have this positive energy. But I could have like the most difficult days in my life, but I still give a positive energy to people because it's not their fault. It's not their fault, you know, but that's coming from growth. Yeah, that's coming from growth.
Speaker 2:You know, if you're not fully like conscious and have a little bit of wisdom, you're going to take it out on people, like most women do and men do.
Speaker 1:And most people do it now for example they do. Yes, I see that and after doing the work with yourself, I think you would agree that every person becomes so like you see everyone how they are right, yeah to their best potential you see everyone how they are right. Yeah, to their best potential. You see, like, from different perspectives already there, who they can be and who they are. Yeah, I always like when I look at the person, I always see what they can achieve like who they can be and if they do the work.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah. Yeah, you see the potential people have and it's very unfortunate they're not able to reach that potential, but everybody has that potential for sure. Everybody has that so to conclude, you're saying that this routine is formed, but also to maintain it it takes work. It's like every day you need to work on it, it's an everyday work.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's an everyday work, and I want to say that self-care is not only just doing something weekly, monthly, it's everyday work, every day. You should do that consistently, be really responsible for that and, yeah, so you can make it a habit, it's an everyday work.
Speaker 2:It is an everyday job and I want people to see that it it a habit, it's an everyday work.
Speaker 1:It is an everyday job and I want people to see that it's not easy, it's difficult, but if you want to be your best, your healthiest self and you want to live a fulfilling and balanced life, you should do the work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I'll add to that Self-care isn't always and only your hair and your nails. Yes, that is such a misconception happening in social media right now and I want to make that clear that when people say self-care, it's not do your makeup and your hair and fix your nails and buy nice clothes. It's much deeper than that. Those things are not going to give you the genuine comfort and the love for yourself. Those things are instant gratification. They're going to make you feel good, maybe about 24 hours, but the next day you're going to go back to feeling like your old self, empty. Self-care needs to come from nurture, nurturing your inner world, taking care of that inner little boy, inner little girl, and that's a lot of work. When you do those things, everything else will flow so naturally. You know what I mean. Yeah, I agree, little girl, and that's a lot of work. When you do those things, everything else will flow so naturally. You know what I mean, yeah.
Speaker 1:I agree with you, and it takes a lot of our time and effort to do those things, to go to do your nails to your lashes, your brows, and when I stopped doing all those things I really realized how much time I have now.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, minimalistic right Living, that minimal life I'm living a minimalistic life.
Speaker 1:I 100% agree, and now I see how much time I have. For example, when people say I don't have time to read books when they work, they think they work. Okay, they don't have time to read books, but they do have time to do the nails, to do the lashes, to do this or that Scroll on the phone for hours.
Speaker 2:The average person is away from their phone for seven minutes only. That's just research. Oh my God, just seven minutes.
Speaker 1:That's why I even control that. I even controlled how much time I have, you know, because I'm a creator. People may think that I'm always on the phone, I'm creating the content, but no, that's not true. I can just post something on my stories, you know, for my community, and then that's it. I'm not even looking at anybody else's stories. I'm so focused, you know, on whatever I'm doing, because you have to be. I'm more interested in my life than in anybody and I want people do the same, you know.
Speaker 1:Be interested in your life right To be interested in your life, be that addicting to your life.
Speaker 2:How beautiful that would be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and to nurture yourself.
Speaker 2:To nurture, and how beautiful it would be if women would make an attempt to watch their own story. Yeah, it's very beautiful, you know? Or men, View your own story Like swipe on your own story, all the time Just self-reflecting.
Speaker 1:Go back to yourself all the time. You know, most of the time when I'm on my Instagram, I'm looking on my page. You said I'm looking to fix something to see what I'm giving to people, because when you are creating, I want to give something meaningful. You know.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, it's growing.
Speaker 1:You're growing, yeah, I want to see my mistakes and yeah, I want to. That's another beautiful point to control how much time you're spending on Instagram and to control who are you following. I would add also that, because this year I unfollowed so many people, I just follow like a handful of people who really inspire me to be better not to compare myself to them, me to be better. Not to compare myself to them, even if it's okay to have, I want to say it's okay to have negative emotions when you see someone. If something is giving you negative energy, just don't say it. Just make your life clean. Just surround yourself with people who inspire you to be better, to be your best self.
Speaker 2:I think that's beautiful. We'll end with that, because it is the most beautiful statement when we guide women to really nurture their inner self versus not focusing on the outer, and I think that that's where that routine is created and kept. Yes, so, zhenya, thank you so much, I appreciate you I think you're doing a phenomenal job with wellness routine. Please keep teaching women and guiding women and allowing women to really see their true self. It's God's work.
Speaker 1:It really is yes, I believe in that. If I'm doing this work, then this is God's plan. This is not about me. That's how I'm taking it.
Speaker 2:This is what he had for you. This is about them and I'm serving people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:We are his disciples, for sure.
Speaker 1:Thank you. Thank you too, eddie Jenner, of course.