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The Edit Alaverdyan Podcast
Welcome to "The Edit Alaverdyan Podcast," the podcast where insightful conversations unfold, and the depth of the human mind is explored. In each episode, I sit down with a diverse range of individuals—thinkers, innovators, and captivating personalities—who share their unique insights and experiences. Together, we embark on a journey of discovery, unraveling the complexities of the human psyche and uncovering the untold truths that influence our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
The Edit Alaverdyan Podcast
Nikki Truesdale | Homeschooling, Socialization Myths, Education | The Edit Alaverdyan Podcast #40
Ever wondered if a comprehensive education can be achieved in less time? Join us as Nikki Truesdale, a renowned advocate and second-generation homeschooler, challenges conventional educational timelines and reveals how homeschooling can be a tailored and rewarding path for families. Nikki shares her personal journey from being homeschooled in the 1980s to raising her children with the same approach. Alongside Nikki's insights, we also hear from a courageous single parent who successfully navigated the challenges of homeschooling after escaping a difficult situation. Together, they highlight how homeschooling offers unmatched flexibility and efficiency, allowing for personalized learning that respects each child's unique needs.
Misconceptions about homeschooling often point to socialization issues and curriculum gaps, but this episode sets the record straight. Nikki and our guests address these concerns head-on, emphasizing how homeschoolers often have richer social experiences than their traditionally schooled peers. From participating in sports and music to attending proms, they explore the myriad of social opportunities available outside the confines of a conventional school setting. Additionally, we tackle the fear of curriculum gaps, arguing that homeschooling allows parents to focus on truly important skills, ensuring a solid educational foundation.
The episode also delves into the distinctions between accredited and non-accredited homeschooling, discussing how these decisions impact learning experiences and future academic pursuits. We explore the liberation and empowerment that come with homeschooling, encouraging parents to embrace creativity and flexibility in designing an educational journey that aligns with their family's values and needs. Whether you're a seasoned homeschooler or just curious about the possibilities, this episode promises to enlighten and inspire, providing valuable insights for anyone interested in the transformative potential of homeschooling.
You can let your children start late and it doesn't take 12 years and all these things that I had learned from my own experience as a child and kind of trial and error as a homeschool mom. I just started sharing them and I guess they resonated so that's episode I have on the wonderful and prestige Nikki Truesdale.
Speaker 2:Nikki is somebody that I admired and have been an avid fan of and following for a while now, since I am a homeschooling mom myself, and I thought of her because there is so much misconception around mothers, families and homeschooling and I really wanted to clear out the air a little bit. Nikki is an author of Anyone Can Homeschool. She's a Christian blogger, she's a publisher at Knowledge Keepers Bookstore, she's a wife, she's a mom and she is a grandmother and also a second generation homeschooling mother and a guru of homeschooling. The information that I gained from this podcast was phenomenal. We talked about the pros, the cons of homeschooling. Can really kids get into colleges? Are homeschooled kids socially awkward? Right, that's a question that you hear and, just in general, a really beautiful topic around homeschooling, because I know that you know, schools are not what it really is and I think one of the most important topics that I wanted to address is does really education last up to 12 years? And her idea is that a full, complete education should not last up to like 12 years. You know, and her kids did not go to school for 12 years and I certainly am not planning that for my children. So I really wanted to talk about how that works, because what we're taught in today's society is that you need 12 years, you need eight hours a day in school, you need hours and hours of studying, hours and hours of homework, and this is what gravitated me towards homeschooling more is this freedom, and we get to talk about the why. Why is homeschooling good for you? So we talk about the why and many other important topics.
Speaker 2:Please stay tuned and enjoy this episode. Make sure you guys subscribe to the channel, because it's such support and I hope to hear back some awesome feedbacks. Yeah, I'm a first time homeschool mom and I honestly I've researched so much about this and it's the best decision I have ever made. It is yes, yeah. So tell us I mean, tell us a little bit about how you got into homeschooling and how you're just such a guru of it. Now Tell us how did you get into that? That's funny.
Speaker 1:Well, I was homeschooled as a kid and so that's how I was first introduced to homeschooling. My mom and dad took me and my sister out of public school in the 1983. Took me and my sister out of public school in the 1983. So we started our first school year in September of 1983. And I was 11 years old. So that was my introduction to homeschooling, and it was obviously very different back then, but it was. It was a lifestyle that I loved and I'm so thankful for it. And so, as I grew older, it was something I knew I would do with my kids. There was no question that I was going to do the same thing, and so I had to kind of figure out a way to do it and reconcile that with my plans to also be this awesome businesswoman. So that was when I was a teenager.
Speaker 1:Obviously, I chose motherhood over being a career woman, and I'm very glad I did. But how I came to, you know, talk about it so much on social media and things like that. It was natural because I was given that upbringing. So it was easy for me to appreciate homeschooling and to see it from both sides as a student and also as a mom, and I began to see that some things that I would share from my own experiences were what people wanted to hear. People needed to know that it was going to work and, based on many of my own experiences, I was able to share that you can do it if you're single, you can do it if you have to work, you can let your children start late and it doesn't take 12 years. And all these things that I had learned from my own experience as a child and kind of trial and error as a homeschool mom, I just started sharing them and I guess they resonated. So that's where we are today.
Speaker 2:Yeah, one of the main, I guess, pathways that led me to you is the article that you wrote about you don't need 12 years to educate your child. There are so many misconceptions out there with parents and homeschooling. We're going to get into that, of course, but what inspired you to write the article of you don't need 12 years to educate your children, and what does that even mean?
Speaker 1:Well, honestly, that article came out of my experiences as a homeschool mom, going through many different situations that were tough, situations that were tough I in school or homeschool, homeschooling as a mom, as after the first year of homeschooling my first daughter, I was divorced. I ran away from a very abusive situation and took my two little girls with me and started over. Just everything had to start over and I was broke and I was single and we were homeless, except that my parents had a house they were building and they let us stay there, even though it wasn't finished, and so I literally did have to start all over from scratch and so, as you might imagine, that put school on the back burner sometimes, but I was determined going in that we were going to homeschool, no matter what that looked like. I was determined going in that we were going to homeschool, no matter what that looked like. And what it looked like was a lot of delay, a lot of skipped days, skipped months dealing with life and dealing with look back on our situation and go.
Speaker 1:You know, none of my kids actually had 12 years of home education, but they got a complete education and it didn't take all the time that people tell you that it takes, and so I learned that it doesn't take 12 years plus kindergarten, and it doesn't take eight hours a day or seven hours a day, and you don't have to spend five days a week or nine months a year.
Speaker 1:All of those things are just made up by the government system because it's convenient and they have to answer to a lot of people, and so what we have learned is you know, mistakenly, that it takes all this time to educate children, but there's a lot of wasted time in school, and I learned that from having delayed my children in various circumstances because I had no choice, and learned that they could learn to read later and faster, they could pick up their math concepts later and faster.
Speaker 1:They could also graduate early and still get all of the education they needed. And so really, that came through a lot of my own experiences, but also learning from others who had done this before me, and so I was trying to encourage people especially who'd been in that situation. Maybe they were single parents or working parents, or maybe they had a child with special needs, or there's so many reasons why condensing the amount of time you spend is very helpful to know about, and so the more I shared, the more I thought I just need to put this all in one article and help people see that the current education system in America is not really the norm throughout history and it's not really the most efficient way, and it's not the way we have to copy.
Speaker 2:And so that's where that that blog post came from and I love and I've read it and I love it so much because I feel like, you know, there's this whole thing about, not you know, school's not for every kid. There's this thing going around that, not you know, education is not for every child, or I think like, yeah, maybe the controlled environment isn't so, but I think knowledge and education can be made so easily and so beautifully articulated in a way where every child connects with that, and it shouldn't take 12 years. So, from your perspective as a professional, how long do you think a child needs to get an education, versus the full 12 years?
Speaker 1:I would honestly say about eight full years and you know I didn't, you know I didn't do a calendar of eight years with my kids but I would probably say eight, maybe nine years of just, you know, very focused, intense schoolwork and that gives you all the levels of math that you need to graduate high school.
Speaker 1:It gives you plenty of time to learn to read and to take your reading ability and apply it to all kinds of different books, but also to learn to write and write well and learn to communicate well and to use all of that to learn science and history and critical thinking skills.
Speaker 1:We don't need 12 years of a grammar curriculum or 12 years of writing practice or you know some, even math Math doesn't have. There's not 12 years worth of math concepts that are actually given to kids, not 12 years worth of math concepts that are actually given to kids. A lot of it is busy work and made up stuff that could be condensed into so much less time and still give them a really solid math foundation, and the same goes for science too. So what we see in the school system is just a creation of the government system where the longer they keep the kids, the more tax dollars they can bring in. The more government grows and the more they keep the kids, the more tax dollars they can bring in, the more government grows and the more they make the public think that they're providing a really necessary service, when actually it's a whole lot of wasted time and unnecessary to take children's their childhood away for that long.
Speaker 2:Yes, I agree with you. I think also for the people who are considering homeschooling. I've met such amazing moms that are homeschooling and I think one of the advice they gave me is, if you are a mom or a family that's considering homeschooling, it's important to think about your why. Why is it important? Why, why is it important? So, can you guide us through this and why you think that? Why?
Speaker 1:homeschooling, or the why, is important for families to consider. Yes, I think I mean, most people have a why. If they're even considering it, they already have a reason, and so I really recommend that parents flesh that out completely, write it down, sit down with your spouse even your kids, depending on their ages and really work out why you even thought of this in the first place. Because there is a reason. Everyone has one. They're all different, but it usually boils down to a few things like either the atmosphere at the school or bullying, learning problems, or maybe the kid is bored and not being challenged enough at school. It usually boils down to the actual academic education or the atmosphere, and a lot of all sorts of little problems fit into those two categories. And so people are wanting to get out of the school system for a lot of reasons and they need to write those reasons down. And I will tell you that if you start with one reason, your list is going to grow. Whether you stay in public school or you pull the kids out and start homeschooling, your list is going to keep growing. And hey, I've been in the homeschool movement for 40 years and my list hasn't stopped growing because I look at the world around me and I just I see all the things that I'm either already protecting my children from, or a new thing that pops up and I think, whew, it's a good thing we are not at school, you know.
Speaker 1:And so it's important to write that down, because when you start homeschooling, you're going to find out that it's not easy peasy. It's not all rainbows and unicorns every single day. But if you have a solid reason for why you started this, you go back to that as your reminder. And if the kids are arguing about doing their schoolwork, or everybody's tired and fussy, or you're not feeling it that why is your pep talk you can go back to that and go. Okay, I remember my child was being bullied at school and was coming home crying every day, or they were not getting the special needs education that we were promised, or whatever it is. You need that reminder, and so you need to write it out and be familiar with why you started this, because you will ask yourself that sometimes what am I doing? Why did I even decide to do this?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's beautiful. And one thing I can self-reflect on is I was reading this article and it was a psychiatrist, very wise, and he was talking about how your child is literally with a stranger eight hours a day and so they take on. If you know, we'll be lucky if teachers have like good Christian morals and values, but that's really not accepted anymore. It's very different. So if your child is with somebody who doesn't have the same values and morals as you do and your family portrays you don't know what you're going to get. So that really scared, that really scared me and so that was my why outside of you know, like you know, having freedom is one thing that I looked at as well the why and safety, of course, but that was one of the biggest things for me. Like I don't know, and they're with the teacher more than they are with us 40 hours a week. They're with you know teachers.
Speaker 1:But a lot of kids from a lot of different homes with a lot of different upbringings. And these days you also have to realize those kids at least half of them have unlimited internet access. So you know, those peers are are definitely influencing kids at school. Whether people want to want to believe that or not, it is absolutely real you are so correct.
Speaker 2:Yes, and, and that's that's. That's one of the biggest reasons why I gravitated towards homeschooling. So can we talk about some of the common misconceptions? I think you've probably heard this like a kajillion times, but socialization is one of them. Our, you know, homeschool kids are weirdos. They don't know how to socialize, and so I think that I probably was one of those moms at a certain point in my life where I thought of that because I really didn't know any better. But now that I'm in this, I am finding out that, and from several podcasts that I've had with you know professionals that homeschool their kids. That's such a gift that you can give to your child. Is you educating them? And so is this true the common misconception of homeschool kids don't know how to socialize.
Speaker 1:Not at all what I would say. I usually call that the S word. Since I was homeschooled starting in 1983, we've been hearing that same argument and it's kind of laughable for me, and my kids are the same way. They just think people don't even know what they're talking about. So the first thing that I would say, before I even argue with a list of all the things that we do, I would say for people to ask themselves what do you mean by socialization? Do you mean talking to people one-on-one, making eye contact, playing games, being fair, being polite, talking to adults? What about manners? And, you know, do they know how to handle all kinds of social situations? That, to me, is what socialization is, and I would say there's a lot of public school kids that have no clue how to socialize. They know how to interact with public school peers, which is all the same thing and it's not really pretty, but what they don't know how to do very often is to greet a person who comes into a room or make eye contact and have conversation, ask how you're doing. You know there's a lot more to socialization than being around other kids and I just argue for the fact that public school kids do not have that down, and so a lot of people think well, your kids need to be at school because of socialization. And what they're picturing, I'm sure is the good old days where kids played on the playground and they had fun together and they traded friendship bracelets and played basketball and all that. But the world is very different now and, like I said earlier, it's an Internet driven world and kids with devices. They're not socializing and that's a whole topic for another day. But that is not socialization.
Speaker 1:And yes, some homeschool kids are weird, but some public school kids are weird too, and so it's just the nature of humans. You know, some of us are introverts and some of us are not. And you know, I've got five kids and I have one who's an extreme introvert and I have to work with him all the time about how to be polite, how to look at someone in the eye and say something nice, you know, and it's not because he's homeschooled, because his four siblings are homeschooled too. And so what we have to do is train our children how to be sociable. It starts in the home, and interacting with family members is the first kind of socialization. This is where kids learn to be polite and share and to put others first and to have a conversation, even have a debate or an argument, without getting mad and starting a fight. And there's so many ways to learn socialization at home. Learning it at school is the worst way and that's what I usually just tell people like.
Speaker 1:Socialization is the reason we homeschool. We don't want that kind of socialization for our kids. But if you want to hear the long list of things that kids can do in homeschooling, I can share that too, because we live in a in my family lives in a rural area of Texas north of the DFW Metroplex. Our county has a population, I think, of 24,000, something like that. It's really small, and we've had a homeschool community here for as long as I've been in the homeschool world.
Speaker 1:So since the 80s, and throughout that time our families would just create opportunities for the kids to do things, whether it was sports or music or field trips or anything like that. Well, now that we're in the 21st century, homeschooling opportunities are just crazy. There's so many that even if we signed up for everything there is, we wouldn't be able to do them all because it wouldn't fit in a week and then we'd never be home having school where they take all kinds of classes, from core academic subjects to, you know, extracurriculars like art and dance and you know anything you can think of that kids do when they get together. My kids have done at this group, but we also have joined science classes. My kids go to a cotillion once a month where they learn proper etiquette and formal dance lessons. There is a huge prom in the Dallas area that they go to every year with 2,000 other homeschool kids. We have a sports association for kids that do volleyball and basketball and they go to national tournaments, and so those are just a few of the things. There's a homeschool band that my kids have never joined, but the kids learn strings and play orchestra music. I've never joined, but the kids learn strings and play orchestra music.
Speaker 1:I could go on, but the point is they don't lack for socialization opportunities. In fact, I'm usually saying let's stay home today, let's take a break from all of this, because we've had too much. So homeschool kids don't stay locked in a basement unless you, you know. I know there is the rare family that doesn't participate in anything, and that's their choice, that's their right to do that, but most homeschool kids are involved in multiple things every single week. So we're not lacking for opportunities, and the parents have. They have the freedom and the time to choose the opportunities and the kids that their kids are going to be around and to train them in proper socialization skills all along the way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think one of the things that lots of families are scared of is the yeah, socialization piece. But in their mind they're thinking well, they're in a classroom full of friends. What about their friends? They're not going to make any friends, and so I think we're in a time in the world now it's like you know, you fully have to really understand like, what type of friends? Like there's so many different families and I don't know.
Speaker 1:It's a hurting world. It's a dark and hurting world we live in and we don't want that world influencing our kids, and I think people that don't understand that are just really. They have their heads in the sand about what it's really like at school and on the bus and you know in the neighborhood.
Speaker 2:I love that. Yeah, absolutely we. I think you, you, you made a really good point that we think that school is in the old times of playing with each other and friendship bracelets, but it's such a.
Speaker 2:I think it like, honestly, you're, our kids are surviving in school versus. I think it's a survival. I remember my son coming home angry all the time. That really broke my heart. Every time it was somebody saying something, somebody doing something. It's, it's a survival, that's what my heart Every time it was somebody saying something, somebody doing something. It's a survival. That's what I learned and I'm like I don't want to see my son come home angry all the time. He's so calm. Now we have beautiful slow mornings, we have breakfast, we go walking and then we come home and then, like you know, we registered with Abeka, okay, and I adore them so much, I adore, I adore them so much. Um, I love like to have biblical courses. I, I adore it.
Speaker 1:So we're very yeah, you too. Yes. Yeah, we use a lot of different things, but we have used the Becca here and there over the years for different subjects.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're great. Um. So one of the questions that I have is is homeschooling good for all children and all families, or their specific types? I think people are going to probably wonder about this.
Speaker 1:Well, I actually recently tweeted about this because I hear a lot of people say well, homeschooling is not for everyone, and I disagree. I think it's for anyone who wants to do it Honestly. I don't think you have to be of a certain income or special circumstances or, you know, live in a certain place. It is for anyone who wants it, and I, I mean I wrote my book Anyone Can Homeschool, because I truly believe that. But I wish I could say everyone should, but that borders on the offensive.
Speaker 2:But well, yeah, I'll cut you off kindly here. Why do you think people should homeschool their children?
Speaker 1:How much time do you have? Well, I believe that the American education system is failing the students. I mean, all you have to do is look at the standards and the test scores that come out, and the standards are being lowered so that kids can still meet them. And then they're still failing. So there are websites where you can go and look up the statistics for the whole country or for different states, but even in a district that they might call good or exemplary, they keep lowering what those standards mean so that the schools can meet them, even though the kids are failing. They are not reading at their own grade level standards, they're not passing their own math standards. You know, the state sets these standards and the kids can't meet them and the teachers are not holding them to the standards. And so if they're going to school for an education and they're not getting the education, what are we even doing? You know, at home a parent can see what the kid needs to know and they can teach it to them. And if the kid is not understanding or learning, a parent can take over right there and say let's get you caught up, let's figure out why you don't understand this, let's help you get ahead, whether they sit down and do a lesson over or get a tutor or join a class locally or whatever. When it's in the parents' hands, then the education has actually the opportunity to flourish and again, like I said, it doesn't even take 12 years. So the education system is wasting our kids' lives and failing to actually educate them.
Speaker 1:But, even more importantly, the education in America, the secular system, is very secular. It is a Marxist, secular, human education system and as Christians we are not told in scripture anywhere to let anyone else educate our children. In the scriptures, the only time it talks about raising children it's to parents and grandparents. It's not tutors and counselors in the state or whoever at the time is the most popular teacher. God has given this job to the parents and we in America are outsourcing it to a secular, humanist system that refuses to acknowledge a creator and refuses to acknowledge gender and life before birth.
Speaker 1:And there's so many little octopus arms that go out from there where the, where children are being taught everything that that directly opposes scripture, everything that directly opposes scripture. And so if we are sending our children to be educated, as you said, eight hours a day by strangers who most of the time do not share our biblical beliefs. And then we go to church on Sunday. Who's having the bigger effect on our kids? The secular system is not just giving them an education, it is raising them and it is influencing them. And so, yeah, I absolutely believe that our kids need to be taken out of the public school system and raised at home with a biblical worldview and a solid academic education. That's so beautiful.
Speaker 2:What type of knowledge or education do parents need to possess to be able to homeschool their children? That's another.
Speaker 1:That's a good question. Schooled their children? That's another that's a good question. Well, my mom had me when she was 14 years old and dropped out of school in the ninth grade and never went back, and then she homeschooled me. So hopefully that answers that question, because you don't have to be an expert in all the subjects to give your children the information they need, and my mom didn't. She did not even have a high school education, and so she was able to take a good, solid curriculum with the answer keys and knew how to read, and she was interested in learning whatever she needed to to give me and my sister the knowledge we needed. And so all you need is a parent who's willing and and able to read like literally. That's all you need is a parent who's willing and able to read Like literally. That's all you need to know is know how to read, to start, and you can go from there.
Speaker 1:Especially today, the amazing amount of resources that homeschoolers have to them is just mind boggling, and I think people outside the homeschool community don't even realize that you don't have to go to the public school and ask for a copy of their books or their lesson plans. We don't want that Like you don't have to go to the public school and ask for a copy of their books or their lesson plans. We don't want that. We want good curriculum, solid education, and it's all so easy to use, it's open and go. For the most part and for the parent who didn't even finish high school, you can get your curriculum that's, you know, streaming, where the teacher is teaching everything and the answers are provided for you to check and make sure your kids are understanding it. You can actually sign up for live classes online so your kids get to interact with the teacher. And, of course, co-ops are everywhere where you can sign your kid up for a class with someone who's an expert in a certain subject or all the subjects.
Speaker 1:You know, what I like to tell people is you're a facilitator and so you can teach all the subjects at home, or you can facilitate their education by giving them access to whatever teacher, whatever course you want, and really the options are so endless. Sometimes I think I need to update my list of what's out there and what's available, because there's so much good stuff available and with a biblical worldview. So you have teachers who are passionate about their topic and they believe in the word of God and they want that to come through their curriculum and they help you give that to your children. Whether you know about biology or algebra or how to write a research paper, any of that stuff, the help is there. So, in answer to your question, I would say you don't need much besides the ability to read honestly, what about the time?
Speaker 2:There's so many families I know a lot of moms that reached out to me said we would love to, but we're working full time. Is this ideal? Yeah, is this ideal for full-time working parents that want to get their kids out of public? Or?
Speaker 1:private it is, and I'm not going to promise that it's simple when you're working, but I've done that. I've worked many different kinds of jobs while homeschooling and the one thing you have to understand and this is why that article is so important about how it doesn't take 12 years. It does not take 12 years. It does not take seven hours.
Speaker 2:In my country.
Speaker 1:You went to 10th grade, nikki. Yes, yes, well before the 20th century the kids went to about they had like seven, seven years was tops, you know, and that was still a very, very solid education, but it was condensed. The things that they learned were condensed into a smaller amount of time, but it was still way above our standards. Today, if you look at a McGuffey reader, their top reader, I think, is the sixth reader. So that's six books that a student needed to complete over however many years they needed to complete their education in America in the one room schoolhouses. But if you open a sixth reader, most adults would say wow, I do not recognize this information. How did they do it? And these were people that were.
Speaker 1:If they got to this point in their education, they could recite world history and they would do complicated math problems in their heads not on a piece of paper and certainly not with a calculator.
Speaker 1:And so what we have now is just a dumped down, spread out standards, lowered education, and that's why it's so important to understand that about the time and the 12 years. And all that because for a working parent, often they think, oh well, I don't have 8 to 2 pm or 8 to 3 to devote to this, and I certainly can't do that after work at night. No, nobody can. But you don't have to. Because if your child can spend 20 minutes on a grammar lesson and be finished, why do they need an hour for that class? Why do they need another hour for a math class and another hour for history? If the goal is to learn and do the lessons and keep moving forward, do it in 20 minutes, do it in 30 minutes and you know, for a typical kindergartartener you don't need more than one hour a day. For a high schooler, four or five hours tops and about elementary elementary, gosh two, two to three hours depending on. That's roughly around what we do.
Speaker 2:It's about like three, three hours, three and a half hours.
Speaker 1:So so look at the look at the amount of time you're not spending teaching school and look at how much time your child gets to have a childhood oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Instead of. And now there's so much schoolwork done at school and then homework at night that their whole childhood is just being stolen from them. Whole childhood is just being stolen from them. And so for working parents, I hope they can see that you're not devoting eight hours a day, five days a week, on top of your full-time job, and so what I always say is start with your job and figure out what other time do you have during the week, and you can have school on Saturdays and Sundays and at night, whatever you need to, and depending on the ages of your children, there's a lot of different options, and I actually have a pretty lengthy blog post on working and homeschooling, and so I'll give you that link to share with your listeners, because I break it down Like how do I figure this out for me?
Speaker 1:Not everybody, but just for me and my family. Do I figure this out for me? You know, not everybody, but just for me and my family, and I have some free printable worksheets to kind of brainstorm how am I going to work and homeschool? And there's different considerations for every family, because every family is unique, so what works for one group isn't going to work for another, but it's so individual and it is very possible. I've worked outside the home and from home, off and on, over all these years and still homeschooled, because it doesn't matter when you do it, as long as you do it. That's the key.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I'm going to kind of go over some concerns and questions that people have, which I think they'll get so much good insight from this podcast, and questions that people have which I think they'll get so much good insight from this podcast, other than the socialization piece, fear of the curriculum gap.
Speaker 1:Well, first of all, as I mentioned earlier, public schools are lowering their standards and still not meeting them. They're passing kids through grade level after grade level without the kids actually learning the content. So that's a lot of gaps. I get this information straight from teachers and if you ask a teacher, just ask a random teacher that you know are you allowed to hold kids back? Are you allowed to fail them? Are you allowed to give them a failing grade? You know how does that work. And more and more often they're going to tell you we have to pass them through. Yeah, whether they know that material or not. Yeah, so that's a gap. I mean, that's like a lifelong gap.
Speaker 1:If kids are not learning to read or basic math, concepts like those are the two most important things and they're not getting those. So homeschoolers don't need to fear and because there's so many really amazing curriculum options available, just follow the curriculum, keep moving forward, but pay attention to your children and if you see they're not getting something, you make that choice to go back and cover it again. And what's really awesome is you don't have to fail a whole grade or start a whole grade over. Just go back over a concept that they missed or they struggled with, and say we're going to work on this until you understand it, and so they may be flying through their math lessons, but phonics is hard or writing assignment is hard, and so let the math keep flying while you slow down in the English or whatever combination of subjects that might come up. The parent has this opportunity to have a very customized process for their kids, so there shouldn't be gaps.
Speaker 1:If you are paying attention, you know you give them the opportunity to go back and learn it and maybe find a game that helps reinforce the concept or find another way to approach it. You know, sometimes that's all they need is just a different way to look at something, whether it's a different book or maybe a hands-on activity. But we have no need for gaps. And another thing that people think of with gaps is well, you're supposed to learn all this, like supposed to. So who made that up? Ask yourself, is this really necessary just because some bureaucrat says it is? Now, there's a lot that's very important in education, but you may come across something and think, yeah, I don't think that's important.
Speaker 2:And again kids articulate that have you noticed my son? Sorry to cut you off, but my son will articulate things like why do we need this? And when he was in school, I don't know why I need this. Teach me life skills, mom, I don't need this. And I was like, oh my God, this 10 year old is so frustrated by this one subject or this, this area.
Speaker 1:And you can. You can answer them honestly and sometimes my kids ask that and I'll say you know what? I've never used that information, so if, if you want to skip it, I'll let you skip this concept. But then sometimes they ask me and I'll say this is actually very important and I do want you to learn it all, so you have that freedom. You know Now, obviously, in some states maybe you have to submit to their standardized testing requirement for homeschooling, so know what's going to be expected on the test and you can tell your kids look, the state wants to test you for this.
Speaker 1:This is the law. I think it's silly, but we're going to follow the rules. You know you don't want to get arrested and you don't want to have your rights taken away, but it's good to have those conversations and help your kids to even see. Like, yeah, there's a lot of stuff in curriculum that's not necessary. And even in homeschool curriculum you're going to come across things and go I'm not going to worry about this one, let's skip this chapter, and I do that. I do that very often, depending on the kid and the subject.
Speaker 1:So it's totally okay, and that's part of where condensing your time comes in is identifying stuff. That's just a waste of time and giving your kids the opportunity to to get a solid foundation in what's really important and skip the rest. And people will say well, how do you know? How do you know what to skip? That's going to have to be up to you. That's intuition. And if you feel more comfortable covering everything in a book, then by all means do it. But if you feel bold in your decisions I notice not everybody has that confidence to make the decision. But if you've got it, use it and be free, fly away and be free.
Speaker 2:I agree, I think one of the questions that well, it wasn't even a question. I was talking to a friend of mine and she's like well, what do you mean? Homeschooling, doesn't that mean that you can just pass him on all his tests? But isn't that failing him? And so it's like, yeah, I'm sure like mothers are. I mean you can technically do that, but you're hurting your kid, so why would you want to do that? Right, you have, to be like, fully aware and conscious of what to teach your child and what to pass, what not to pass. So that's an anxiety that I kind of want to let people know that you're in charge of that technically, you are.
Speaker 1:But I would argue I get that question sometimes and I would say that most people that choose homeschooling are choosing it because they want to give their kids a good education. That's right and they have no intentions of skipping everything. That's right.
Speaker 1:They're not going to just give their kids a fake grade. That does happen sometimes, just like what happens in public school, but it's very rare, because most people that choose homeschooling are making a conscious decision about their child's education and they're going to give their children the education, not just the final grade. You know homeschoolers can't defend every other homeschooler for doing something. That's dishonest, you know, but that's not the majority of us.
Speaker 2:Yeah. What about the college perspective of it? Another common misconception. Well, what about college? How would they get into college?
Speaker 1:They do all the time. Um, I, I can tell you that it's. It's not any harder for a homeschooler than a public schooler, because you still issue your child a transcript for high school, which is very easy. It's just basically a list of what they accomplished and what grade they achieved, and I also have an article on my website about how to do that how to work on a transcript. And if you don't want to do that, there are services that will do it for you. You just keep a record of what your kids have learned through their high school years. You know you need to know what was the course and what grade did they get, and then it's easy to figure out how many credits they got.
Speaker 2:But that's what is like a planner book from Amazon. It's it's called um my homeschooling keeper, something like that. I have it in my bedroom but I just log in all the classes, like it's just so. It's like a record, basically.
Speaker 1:Right, that's what you do, and then at the end of their high school, you put it into a form and you sign it and date it and get mine notarized so that it is a legal document, and that's that's what colleges want to see. Now, a diploma is a nice, pretty certificate that you hand out at graduation, but mostly they want to see that transcript and they want to know what courses your child took and for the most part, they're going to have your child take a test, whether it's the SATs or at a junior college level. They'll have their own tests, but anybody takes those tests, you know. And homeschoolers are not only accepted at colleges, but they're often sought out more because different universities are starting to see that they're coming out with a better education and with the ability to learn independently.
Speaker 2:Leadership and independence.
Speaker 1:That's right. Yeah, now I'm not saying that all public school kids don't know how to learn and don't care. But what we're seeing is there's a large number of them that don't and they're coming out behind and they're having to take remedial classes in college because they don't know how to do basic stuff. And so homeschoolers a lot of them do testing. Not everyone does, but the state test scores for homeschoolers generally are about 10 to 20 percent higher than public schools across the board in states where they collect that information In Texas we don't do that, we don't have to report or test and they certainly don't collect the information. But in the states where they do, that information has been very eye-opening for a lot of people to see that you don't have to have a college degree to teach your kids and that you can give them a superior education. And the scores are proving it. And also California, I think, has two or three different ways to file for homeschooling.
Speaker 1:Is that right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I had to file. I think it's called a PSA.
Speaker 1:So you're a private homeschooler, is that correct? Yeah, so I don't remember all the nitty gritty, but I think I mean, do you have a requirement to report or to test at the end of the year? Okay, I think, if you do like the charter route or something, yes, that you have to because you're still controlled by public school.
Speaker 2:to because you're still controlled by public school.
Speaker 1:Right, so every state is different, which is cool. That's the way the founders designed the constitution, so that every state makes their own rules, and so I can only tell you look it up and see what your state requires and follow the law, and if you don't like it, work to get it changed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure, yeah, absolutely. I mean you're. Does this do homeschool kids? I mean, does it mean that they're opt out of scholarships?
Speaker 1:Oh, no, no, I'd say for the most part, no. There I have seen a few where it said that you had to graduate from a public school. But homeschooling is so much more accepted now, it's so much more mainstream, that pretty much everybody just opens these things up to all students, and so I know lots of kids who have gotten full ride scholarships to the university of their choice.
Speaker 1:How though they, well they. The scholarship process is just a means of digging and finding, you know, and so wherever you live and then wherever you want to go to school, you have to do your research there. You know communities will offer them. Certain schools have scholarships available to apply for, but then there are lots of organizations that you just kind of have to do your own research. Beautiful for those scholarships, but if you know where to start looking, or ask someone who homeschools in your state, like what did you do? You know, talk to someone who's already been there and say what, what did you learn and how can I do that too? Um, that's the great thing about where we are now.
Speaker 1:There's so many veterans who have already been down this road and you just need to ask them how did you get your kid into college? How did you find that scholarship? You know, how did you do your transcript, All of those things. And it's important too, if you know that your child wants to go to college and maybe you know their degree field that they want to go into, and maybe which schools they're looking at around 9th or 10th grade. Go ahead and start communicating with those colleges and ask questions. You know, say, we are homeschooling. We have our eyes on your school and possible scholarship opportunities, so what courses need to be on the transcript? You know what should we be doing now to prepare for that? And that's a really good way to have more possibility of getting the scholarships and, of course, getting accepted.
Speaker 2:I love that. That's pretty smart, nikki. I have a question. So there's this non-credited and there's this accredited route. When you are homeschooling, we chose the non-credited, but can you kind of tell us the differences? Is this, uh, four different curriculums, or all curriculums are the same?
Speaker 1:Well sorry, it's the tongue twister A curriculum cannot be accredited, Only a school can be accredited. Okay, so if you go, probably this is like in California and I can only speak from a little bit of knowledge about California but if you sign up under a school, that school is accredited, that's right. But if you are a private homeschooler, you cannot be accredited and your curriculum can't be either. And that's across the country and that's just how it is. So a lot of people think, oh, I need an accredited curriculum. There is no such thing. You would have to sign up under a school, an umbrella school, or join a charter or something like that to have accreditation. It's basically public and private schools can be accredited, but a homeschooler and a homeschool curriculum cannot.
Speaker 1:But that doesn't mean that they're any less wonderful, of course. Yeah, I'm of the opinion that I don't need the state to approve my curriculum, so that doesn't matter to me at all?
Speaker 2:What about high school? Is it essential to be going in the accredited route when in high school?
Speaker 1:Because that's what I'm hearing accredited route when in high school, because that's what I'm hearing, but I know you're not. No, I think people who live in states where that is an option will say you need to do this, but it's not. The important thing is your child learns the content and can show some kind of mastery after the course is finished. That's what's important. And, as far as you know, if they want to go to college, they need to be able to get in by passing the exams that the college requires, whether it's their test or the SAT or ACT or whatever, and so that's going to happen if the child commits themselves to learning the content. So if the curriculum or, let's say, the school is accredited, that doesn't make the kids smarter. It doesn't make them learn better. It just is a nice little certificate or a pretty gold seal on a certificate, but it doesn't matter for the kid. You know like it doesn't make them any smarter or more educated. Does that make sense? You?
Speaker 2:make perfect sense. I have a list of questions and I think one of the questions that I'm reading is a mom that just started and I put a like an ask me bar. One of the questions that I'm reading is a mom that just started and I put an ask me bar. One of the questions is how do you answer to people that are incredibly judgmental? So I kind of asked her to explain a little bit deeper and I had a conversation with her and she said when I say my kids are homeschooled, people naturally think it's because they're bad kids, they're got, they're in trouble. So how do you naturally, you know, respond to that Like why are you homeschooling? I think a lot of moms I have like four or five of this like they feel shamed, like they're shamed half the time.
Speaker 1:They're shamed. I know that happens and I am so sorry that it happens. But this is a good reason to have your why written down, because your why is yours and number one. You don't have to explain yourself to people. Obviously, if it's your family, it's a little tougher. You know when, when your parents or the in-laws or family, it's a little tougher. You know when your parents or the in-laws are the judgmental ones.
Speaker 1:My parents were there many, many years ago and it was tough. But they said this is a conviction we have and we're going to do it. And it took many years, but all the grandparents were on board by a certain point, and that includes the ones that were public school teachers. So they have to see the fruit sometimes to really get it and that's okay. But I would say here's why we're doing this and it's a conviction that we have and it is for my child's best interests.
Speaker 1:And whether it's, you know, bullying or they were bored at school or whatever the reason is, you can calmly state that reason and don't worry if they agree with you. Don't worry if they suddenly get on board or don't, or if they just don't ever come around. I mean, there are people that will never come around. They will never see the benefit of it. That's okay. They, you don't need their approval. You just calmly tell your reasons why and smile and remember that you are doing what's best for your kid. And, um, honestly, that's what you do with naysayers. Sometimes they're all naysayers.
Speaker 2:I haven't heard that before oh yeah, that's so cute naysayers.
Speaker 1:I love that well, I think we do tend to want approval. You know we want people to say you're doing a great job, look at you. But when you homeschool you're not always going to hear that. You know you're going to get people. It's because you're going upstream, you're going against the flow. You know Friday night football and the school spirit All those things are part of American culture, and when you opt out of that you're weird. You know it's very different, and so you got to expect that people are going to feel judged, even though they're judging you. A lot of times they're the ones that are feeling judged because you are making a very bold step that they haven't decided to do, and so a lot of times it's just judged, they feel judged, but a lot of times people's just judged, they feel judged, but a lot of times people are just they just think you're crazy, and they always will, and you can't do anything about that. So don't try.
Speaker 2:Nikki, do you think that? Well, first of all, when I was in school we had the Pledge of Legions and you know there was a different level of God and Christianity and faith in schools. That was removed. But do you feel like schools can go back to what it was before?
Speaker 1:No, we don't think so. No, the thing is, if a person digs into the history of public education, they will learn that what we're seeing right now was always the intent and I'm not saying that the nice teacher at your local public school who also goes to your church has some nefarious intent to bring down education, you know. But what I'm saying is the powers behind public education in the United States had a goal, and it was to separate children from their families and it was to separate them from a knowledge of God and to actually give them a secular education and to implement Marxism a little bit at a time In the public school system in America. The way we know it now, which kind of came about in the 1920s and 30s, was based on the model from Germany, and I just have to say sometimes there's some bad stuff that comes out of Germany, if you know what I'm talking about, and the education ideals is one of those things, and so there's a really good book that I would recommend called Crimes of the Educators. It's not a new book, but it's by Alex Newman and he talks about what really happens in schools and the roots behind those things, and when you read that, first of all, you'll feel kind of gross because it's awful but it makes you mad. But it also gives you more insight into what is behind all the things that are going on in education today and how long it's been in the works. And so I think the reason we used to have prayer in schools and we used to have the Pledge of Allegiance and it was more wholesome was because the United States has been a Christian nation for so long that the trickle-down effect lasted a really long time, even in the public square, and it's finally disappearing because of such a Marxist, secular, humanist push. But we have such a legacy of a Christian nation that it took a long time for that to slowly disappear. But we are there now. It's disappearing more and more and more. I mean, you have to go to church to really experience what people used to experience all over life. You know, at the store and in the town and at the school. You know now it's pretty much just in the churches and in the homes of Christians. And so that's the long answer, to say no. I don't think we can go back to that.
Speaker 1:Some people will say we just need to put the Bible back in schools, and so I would ask who's going to write that curriculum and who's going to teach that curriculum? If you tell every teacher they have to teach the Bible, how are they going to treat the Bible? How are the atheists going to teach the Bible? How are they going to treat the Bible? How are the atheists going to teach the Bible? How are the secular humanists going to treat the Bible? Or the people that have never read it before? You know that's not wise.
Speaker 1:It used to be in the schools, but that day is long gone, and the only way that your children are going to get the scriptures now is if you teach them, and so you can. Yes, it'd be nice if they prayed at school, but who's doing the praying and why are they doing it? You can't. You can't go back. We're not going to be able to go back unless there is just a huge outpouring of revival in this country. But the forces of darkness are real and and they are at war for the hearts of our children, and I don't think we're going to see the schools reverse back to the way they were.
Speaker 2:Hearing you say that and hearing myself talk about this is a different level of pain that I can't really explain. It hurts.
Speaker 1:It hurts, yes, well, I think in the article that that you contacted me about first, about how it doesn't take 12 years to educate a child.
Speaker 1:I talk about this book, the the new England primer, and if you look inside this book, you can get it on Amazon, by the way it shows you how our education system started and it was private and it, by the way, it shows you how our education system started and it was private and it was in the homes, but parents were given this little book as an easy way to teach the ABCs with the catechism. And so when you think that this is how generations were educated in this country and then you look at how we are now, yeah, it's heartbreaking. It makes me sad for our country, very sad.
Speaker 2:So I see, in a way, you know, because of all the movement and the changes that are happening with the transgender movement, and we have conservative parents that are like no, no, not in our schools, Our children don't need to read about this, they don't need to know about this what hope can we give those parents? Because then we myself being a new homeschool mom we're looked at as traitors. You left the school system Like. I will never be able to not fight for what's right ever. I'm still going to fight, but how wise are the parents to continue to fight for the school system?
Speaker 1:Well, this is my opinion. If you want to fight, go ahead and do it, because the masses are still at public school and nobody's child needs to be taught that. But in the meantime, go ahead and get your kids out anyway. This is what I see happening so often is parents keep their kids in school and they go to those school board meetings once a month and they have a timer set so they can speak for three minutes and if they say the wrong thing their mic is cut off and they're not even allowed to finish. But they keep going back and they keep going back and you know they say we're fighting this, this shouldn't happen. But meanwhile their kid is still in that school, their kid is still under those teachers and using the curriculum day after day after day, while the parents think that showing up at that school board meeting once a month or putting in a freedom of information request to see the curriculum like that's gonna do anything. It's not. You are trying to hold back a tidal wave by putting your finger somewhere, and you can't. You know it's just not going to work. So I don't think any of that should be taught in public schools, because what we're looking at is a new generation of kids being grown, growing up and being taught utter confusion, utter lies, and that's that's our next generation of Americans being grown, growing up and being taught utter confusion, utter lies, and that's that's our next generation of Americans. You know that's overwhelming when you think about it. But everyone that wants to fight, keep doing the fight and take your kids home. You know, that's that's what I would say. And and you have to come to a certain point where you go okay, I get it now, and I've seen this happen so often.
Speaker 1:Parents are in the school, their kids are in the school, they go to the school board meetings and after a while they go. This is getting nowhere. I have accomplished nothing at this school and my kids are still there and then they say we're going to have to homeschool because there's no other option, because they're not listening to me. You know, every now and then you'll see a school board, there's a victory and they say, ok, we're going to pull this curriculum. But here's what really happens, and this happened in Texas over and over. They said they're going to outlaw Common Core. Years ago they changed the name. They said they're going to outlaw critical race theory. They just changed the names. They keep changing the names and they the exact same stuff, and so the same thing's going to happen with all this gender theory stuff. They're just going to keep relabeling it until no one recognizes it anymore, but it's still in the curriculum, day after day after day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what I am proud of is the parents that are trying to create communities themselves. They're still fighting the fight, but they have little homeschooling programs going on for themselves. Like I, I have a little community of myself. I'm just so very, very proud of parents who are really trying to fight for what's right for their country and for their children. To fight for what's right for their country, for their children. Amen to that, yes, absolutely. Thank you so much. I feel that this was so enlightening and I feel comfortable. I think you have such good wisdom and knowledge. I mean people can reach out. You are also doing consulting right Homeschool consulting. I did see it on your website that it's incredibly affordable. People can just make an appointment with you and you walk through. You know you walk them through the process right.
Speaker 1:Yes, I've had people ask me how to figure out a kindergarten program or a high school program, or, you know even walking through how to start a co-op. So if it involves homeschooling, I will help with it.
Speaker 2:I love that. Thank you so much, nikki. I appreciate you. This was. It flew by so fast. It's been an hour already.
Speaker 2:I appreciate you, god bless. You're such a great asset to the world and I want people to really genuinely know that women like you exist that are here to help, and I love how the how you made me feel. I love the article. I love, by the way, your website too. I want everyone to know. It's full of information of what books to have children read and what homeschooling is about, and just different websites. And oh, it's amazing, how much time did you put into it?
Speaker 1:Oh gosh, I've been doing that since 2009. So you know, it's been building up for a while, but it's something. It just something I love to do and it, you know, the ideas just keep flowing. So I share it there and just so your readers, your listeners, know, there's a menu on my website and there's a page called homeschool 101. And it's a long list of articles that I've written over all these years and hopefully categorized in the subjects that people can find, you know, to see what they're looking for.
Speaker 2:So I find myself in those articles when my children and I'm just reading and reading, Cause I think it takes a lot of a lot of education. I really do want to get like all the knowledge that I can Before we go. I have one personal question for you what was your why? Why homeschooling I know you were homeschooled, but why you chose to homeschool your children.
Speaker 1:Well, when I became a mom, you know, as you know, I was planning to do it, but that was my oldest daughter was born in 1996. And at that time we were already seeing just increased levels of secularism in the schools, and that was the main concern for me. Was that the atmosphere in the public school. I did not want to send my little girl, I just could not fathom it. And then the other reason was for academics. I wanted her to get a good education and not just whatever passed for the current standards which you know, like I said, they're failing anyway, and so it had to do with having a solid biblical and academic education. But it's grown a lot since then.
Speaker 2:And what advice would you give a mom that's just starting out or is thinking about it?
Speaker 1:I would absolutely say don't try to copy a public school at home. Whatever you grew up with you don't have to do that.
Speaker 1:You know and we often think well, I need a chalkboard and a desk, and you know I did all that the first year, even though I was homeschooled, I still did. You know I had a bulletin board with the pretty little teacher borders on it and you know the living room looked like a classroom. It's fun if you want to do that, but you absolutely don't have to. You just need some books and some pencils and paper and any comfy place to sit and don't try to recreate the school day or the classroom. Just this is what I say a lot to my readers you are a family, you are not a school, so don't act like a school, act like a family.
Speaker 2:It's so hard because now we have to go back and unlearn, right yep, yep, they do in fact all that. Yeah, I was gonna say you had, you had something on your blog. I think it was, uh, unlearning. Is that what it was called? Schooling? That's what it's called.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's one of the I think that's at the top of the list of my articles there, because that's it's. It's very common. You know, most people went to public school in America, so it's the only thing we know. And private school is very similar. So even if you went to private school, it's the same thing. It's just more expensive, honestly. And so we have to unlearn those methods. Not that they're all bad, but you don't have to do that as a family and, honestly, it just puts a lot of stress on the parent to try to measure up to something that we don't need to measure up to anyway. And so I say that because I don't want families to get so stressed out that they give up and send their kids back to public school. Yeah, just take a side path and figure out a different way to do something instead of saying, oh, I can't do it because I'm not like them.
Speaker 2:Well, that's the idea that our parents have in their mind. They think that when you're homeschooling, you have to follow the same program, and that's why you get so overwhelmed and you're like I work full time, I can't do it, but you have so much freedom, like you are in charge now. You have so much freedom to do whatever you want and teach however you want.
Speaker 1:Thank you, well, the first two chapters of my book are all about that. Just yes, it's called rethinking school and it helps you to understand. It looks however you need it to look, so exactly, and it's so helpful.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much, nikki. God bless you and I'll talk to you later, okay, thank you.
Speaker 1:Bye.